She came into the world with a middle finger up.
The wild child. She never did take a bottle. Her toddler nickname was “the bulldog.” She wouldn’t let me feed her baby food; she had to feed herself. She refuses to “fake” smile for pictures. The kid doesn’t take shit from anyone. Scott and I can tell which daughter is walking into our room at night based off the heavy footsteps of confidence. I’m scared shitless for her teenage years.
There’s only one.
The letter K.
Coming from a family of four kids, I knew what I was getting into with two kids. You need balance. Equality. Treat all kids the same or you will pay. I hope Kate never realizes we took Emma to Disney World for her 5th birthday and all Kate got a Kansas City theme park.
I wrote a blog post for the letter E – Emma.
I asked Kate if I could interview her for the letter K on my blog.
She told me to go straight to hell. I’m kidding. But she did tell me no one needs to know her business which is the 7-year-old equivalent of telling me to go straight to hell.
That’s fine. I expected this answer so I told her she could interview me. She agreed.
An Interview with Julie Burton by Kate Burton
Kate: What makes you cry?
Me: Geez, Kate. Well, when someone in my family is hurt or sick. I don’t like that.
Kate: That’s boring. Think of something else like the time Stella bit your earring off your ear.
Me: Yes, physical pain can make me cry too.
Kate: What is your favorite thing about yourself?
Me: Being your mom.
Kate: Correct. Next question. If you were two animals mixed, which two would you be?
Me: A fish and a human. I’d be a mermaid chasing a blue marlin.
Kate: Mom. Stop it. You can’t pick a human. Ok, new question – what is love?
Me: What is love? What kind of question is this? This is kinda abstract. Ok, let me try to put this in words. It’s a feeling. No. It’s, like, a strong desire to protect someone and you would do anything for. You love the soul.
Kate: You’re not answering the question right.
Me: Ugh! KATE.
Kate: If you could change anything on your body, what would it be?
Me: My honest answer? I’ve always wished I had smaller boobs.
Kate: Oh yeah. You got those big ‘ole boobies hangin’.
Me: Stop it.
Kate: If you owned a country, what would it be called?
Me: Uh, I’ve never really thought about…
Kate: NEXT! If you had a million dollars to spend, what would you buy?
Me: I’m not sure how big of a house it would buy – but I would love to own a vacation home in the Florida Keys. Right on the water. I would spend any money I had left on a boat. I’d be there all the time. Writing and fishing.
Kate: Correct. Work on that cuz I’m comin’ with ya. What is the best joke you’ve told?
Me: Oh. Ok, let me think…
Kate: Mom, you have bad jokes. You can skip this one.
Me: Wait, I tell bad jokes?
Kate: Mom. You’re not funny. If you had a superpower, what would it be?
Me: I would love to fly. Travel to places like a bird.
Kate: Uh, no. You should have said snap your fingers and the house be clean.
Me: I thought you were interviewing me. You’re not supposed to change my answers!
Kate: Name some of your best friends. I’ll start for you – Christine.
Me: Ha! Yes, Christine. Cody.
Me: KATE! This isn’t a right or wrong question!
Kate: Uh, yeah it is. It’s my interview.