Did you wipe your butt today?

Did you wipe your butt today?

It’s a serious question.

And this is not TMI. This is kid speak. Asking a child if they wiped their butt will get them to laugh. That’s good because I need their attention. Yours too.

So did you wipe your butt today?

You don’t need to answer me. I know. Yes, Julie. Yes, I wiped my butt. Everyone wipes their butt because everyone poops. And you know what? Your mother and father are proud of you for wiping your butt. We all are. There are a handful of phrases parents say and “bend over and touch your toes” is one we can’t wait to stop.

I’m rambling.

What I came here to say is we’re going to need that toilet paper roll when you’re done.

We’re going to break a Guinness World Record, kids!

The Guinness World Record – it’s the history book every kid wants in. Did you know the Guinness World Record is named after the Guinness Brewery? It’s true. The former managing director at Guinness Brewery came up with the idea. Since 1955, the book can tell you who’s who of fastest, slowest, tallest, longest, strongest, and shortest. It’s the book of world champions. It’s the book that settles arguments.

National Geographic Kids are experts at getting kids involved with the Guinness World Records. Nine world records have been crushed by readers of National Geographic Kids magazine. Look them up. You’ll find the largest collection of plush toys (2,304 stuffed animals in 2006); longest chain of shoes (10,512 shoes in 2008); and largest online photo album (104,0222 pictures in 2013) under National Geographic Kids name.

It’s 2017. Today’s kids are wiping butts and upcycling toilet paper rolls. We’re making a rocket!

National Geographic Kids will be creating the world’s largest toilet paper roll sculpture – a rocket – for 2017. They need at least 5,000 toilet paper rolls to break the record. You have until May 5th, 2017 to get those rolls to the National Geographic Kids headquarters in Washington, DC.

It’s easy. Wipe your butt. Remove all the toilet paper off the roll. Pull up your pants. Open the bathroom door. Your kid will be waiting. They’re always waiting. Hand the toilet paper roll to your kid to decorate, if they wish. If they do decorate it, you will have to sign off to include your child’s “art.” And then send the toilet paper rolls to:

Nat Geo Kids / Set a Guinness World Record

1145 17th St. NW

Washington, DC 20036 

Easy. Less trash. Clean butts. And your kid can say to their future grandkids, “I’m in that book. I wiped my butt and helped make that rocket.”

If you would like more information, visit National Geographic Kids.

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The Book of Heroes.

Kate: What’s a hero, um. A hero-ings. Book of hero-ings?

Me: Let me see that. Book of Heroines. It’s a woman hero. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. It’s someone that…let me think. It’s a brave woman. A woman you admire or look up to.

Kate: Do you have one?

Me: A hero or heroine? Teachers used to ask me this when I was little. Hm, I never had one. I was never into superheroes.

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When National Geographic Kids sends you books for your kids to review, you take a selfie. Ok, they didn’t say the selfie part. I’m sure they’re cool with it. 

As a National Geographic Kids Insider, it’s my job to tell you what’s going on at their headquarters in Washington, DC.

Also, don’t judge a book by its cover. Heroes and heroines are not always the super variety.

Kate ran off with The Book of Heroines because girls rule and boys drool, mom. You’ll hear her review after she runs for President in the year 2044.

The Book of Heroes sat on our kitchen counter.

National Geographic is earth’s great story-teller. National Geographic turns to the explorers hanging off cliffs, scientists testing the ocean floor, the astronauts circling earth, and the top photographers in the world to help tell earth’s story. And those top photographers don’t take selfies with an iPhone.

National Geographic Kids may have the harder job. Explaining the world to a 7-year-old is more difficult than explaining it to a 35-year-old. The big question every kid wants to know – why?  And they’ll whittle you down until you are trying to explain the meaning of life itself.

Why is he a hero? Why is she a heroine? Why is that person special? Why can’t I be like that person? Why don’t you have a hero? Why is Superman a hero? Why are humans not Superman? Why can’t that be you, mom?

I don’t care what you say, National Geographic Kids is magical. I had no intention of reading those books the day we received them. None. My kids are good readers; they don’t ask me to read a new book to them. I planned on reading the books later. I just had better plans for the night – a date night with Scott and a Redbox movie rental in our living room.

The Book of Heroes sat on the kitchen counter while Scott and I watched “Sully.”

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You know Sully. The true story about Chesley Sullenberger, the pilot that performed an emergency landing using the Hudson river as a runway. All 155 passengers and crew survived on that January day in 2009.

The movie scared the hell out of us.

We live in a post 9/11 era where catastrophe on an airplane is not common but the nightmares are. 155 people were told they were going to be making an emergency water landing and to brace for impact. I can’t imagine one person on that plane thinking their story would later be told as a happy ending.

Katie Couric: People call you a hero.

Sully (played by Tom Hanks): I don’t feel like a hero.

Me: He’s totally a hero! How does he not see that?

Scott: He’s a hero. He doesn’t feel like it because he did his job.

Me: Or the airline is screwing with his head by going after him and his decision to land in the river. I can’t think of a bigger hero than Sully. If Tom Hanks ever plays you in a movie, you’re a damn hero.

When the movie ended, I placed the DVD in its container.

What a hero. Hero. Heroes. Heroines. The Book of Heroes.

I glanced at the kitchen table. The book was still there from earlier in the day. Boys drool.

I turned to the index. I was curious. There’s no way National Geographic Kids remembered to include Sully.

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National Geographic Kids remembered to include Sully.

Without ever intending to open the kids’ books, I was reading about Sully, the pilot who kept his cool, because National Geographic Kids is magical to adults too.

 

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Follow National Geographic Kids on Facebook.

Click here to buy The Book of Heroes and The Book of Heroines. See what kind of magic they throw at you.

 

Bookworms.

I’ve always called myself a bookworm.

But why? Why do we call book lovers bookworms? Maybe it has to do with teachers and an apple and a worm? Or maybe book lovers bury themselves in a book like a worm buries itself in the earth?

Wrong.

I searched the depths of google.

“The bookworm expression stems from years ago when books were destroyed by moths, beetles, silverfish, and other insects. Books today do not have this problem. The type of glue has changed to deter an insect’s destruction. Books are also kept in better conditions, such as air-conditioned and heated homes.”

Gross.

And welcome to Bug Bytes.

I’m not here to talk about what we can learn from google. I’m here to talk about what kids can learn from books – National Geographic Kids books.

I got the opportunity to speak with Jennifer Emmett, VP of Kids Content and Erica Green, VP and Editorial Director of Kids Books at National Geographic Kids.

Jennifer and Erica are bookworms too. They gave my fellow National Geographic Kids Insiders and me an overview of their favorite books for our future generations of book lovers. *

* I say future generations of book lovers but I totally mean me. I steal these books from my kids’ backpacks. Come on, it’s National Geographic. A place where nature becomes a story. King of photography. King of videography. King of the Jungle.

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Tales from the Arabian Nights by Donna Jo Napoli Ages 8-12. Hardcover. This book helps kids understand a culture rich with history – the Middle East. Tales of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Sinbad the Sailor, and Aladdin show kids there’s more to the world than a Disney movie. Pretend-riding a magic carpet is still acceptable.

Ultimate Oceanpedia by Christina Wilson Ages 7-10. Hardcover. National Geographic has access to parts of the world you and I will never see. The oceans cover 70% of earth yet there’s a lot that hasn’t been explored. National Geographic Kids dives deep with the best underwater photographers in the world. This “oceanpedia” focuses on preserving the health of the ocean “land” and what kids can do to help. Even if those kids live in Kansas.

2017 Almanac Ages 8-12 Hardcover and softcover. This book is one of National Geographic’s best-selling books. It covers everything – games, wonders of the world, history, culture, discoveries, and explorers. Kids can read about scientists dressing up as polar bears to study them. Or learn about the real species of spiders named sparkle muffin.

Weird But True 8 Ages 8-12 Softcover. Ah, Weird But True. “Mom, did you know..” Spoiler: you’ll most likely not know, question the fact, and go to google to confirm. It’s always confirmed. This is the 8th installment of the series. Kids forget they are learning when they read that death metal music attracts sharks or Kansas produces enough wheat every year to make 35 billions loaves of bread. Kansas smells like home, kids.

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If your kids love these books, make sure they watch the new Weird But True television show every Saturday morning.

Famous Fails! by Crispin Boyer Ages 8-12 Softcover. This book is my personal favorite because I fail a lot. Failing is a learning process and this book shows kids failing is ok. Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team. The Leaning Tower of Piza was not supposed to lean. Einstein was told he wasn’t smart. The book itself is printed with mistakes. Emma Burton even fails.

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The Ultimate Dinopedia by “Dino” Don Lessem Ages 7-10. Hardcover. If you have a kid that loves dinosaurs, this is the only kids book that lists every dinosaur ever discovered. And 125 species are explained in detail. Fun tidbit: the illustrations had to be carefully considered because the editors didn’t want them to be too gory. Dining with a dino is not served on a plate.

Little Kids First Big Book of Animals Ages 4-8. Hardcover. Ok, littles! Here’s a book for you! Big, small, slimy, furry, rough, cold-blooded, warm-blooded, brown, blue, polka dots, all the animals are here! This book can be read by an adult to a small child. It answers questions little kids want to know- how do they eat? What do they eat? Are they fast? What do the babies look like? Let’s find out, kids!

Edible Science by Jodi Wheeler Ages 8-12. Softcover. My question to Jennifer and Erica: My kids love to cook. They also love making up their own recipes and a giant mess in the kitchen they leave me to clean. Is there a book out for Emma and Kate that mixes recipes with the science behind cooking? This book was the first book to pop in their mind. Cooking is chemistry and this book turns the kitchen into a science experiment you can eat. I still have to clean the mess though.

National Geographic Kids Cookbook by Barton Seaver Ages 8-12. Softcover. This cookbook is for kids to bake from year-round. It’s not a normal cookbook because Nat Geo is never normal – there are crafts, activities and challenges within the pages. Host a dinner party, pack a school lunch, bake a holiday dessert, family cooking competitions, snow day recipes, and the kids get permission to play with their food. I give permission to clean up your own mess.

Welcome to Mars: Making a Home on the Red Planet by Buzz Aldrin Ages 8-12. Hardcover. Yeah, that Buzz Aldrin. The Buzz Aldrin that went to the moon on Apollo 11. Going to the moon is so 1969. Kids today imagine going to Mars. Could Mars be colonized? Well, we’re moving closer to the possibility. This book explains what a real life would be like on the red planet.

And there you have it, from the National  Geographic Kids headquarters in Washington, D.C. Go turn your kids into a bookworm!

But not that kind of bookworm. The cute human bookworm from 2016.

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National Geographic Kids – Weird But True.

Meet Charlie.

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Hey, Charlie.

Oh! And Kirby, Charlie’s sister.

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Hey, Kirby.

They are the hosts of the new National Geographic Kids TV show, Weird But True! The show is based off the National Geographic Kids books, Weird But True! (Your kids know what I’m talking about.) And the books are based off the National Geographic Kids magazine section, Weird But True! (Your kids, your kids’ teachers, and your kids’ friends all know what I’m talking about.)

And now you are going to know what I’m talking about.

I am a 2016-2017 ambassador for National Geographic Kids. What does that mean? I’m here to tell you fine people and your fine kids what is going on behind the curtain at the National Geographic Kids headquarters in Washington, D.C.

And really, when National Geographic Kids invited me to write about dragon bones, belly button lint, and beefalo, I couldn’t say no.

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I googled the beefalo. It’s real. I googled it because I didn’t believe National Geographic Kids “weird but true” fact and now Scott has a new animal to hunt. Stop it, Peta. I’m kidding.

Back to Charlie and Kirby.

Charlie and Kirby Engelman are the hosts of Weird But True!, a new syndicated TV show airing Saturday mornings on Fox. I had the opportunity to interview Charlie on the phone this week. The siblings landed the National Geographic Kids Weird But True! gig by – get this – mostly cutting and pasting. Weird but true.

They cut and paste pictures to help explain how weird our world is. Look behind them. Cut and paste, kids. Cut and paste. This Saturday’s episode is about extreme weather – tornado chasing.

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Photo credit: National Geographic Channels/Jill Littman

Ah, they speak to me. They are in my backyard chasing Kansas tornados.

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Charlie and Kirby pose atop the “Doppler on Wheels”. (Photo credit: National Geographic Channels/Jill Littman)

Just kidding, they’re in Colorado.

Set the DVR! Saturday mornings (but not too early) on Fox. Scramble up some eggs, sit back, and tell your kids, “Weird but true – did you know Charlie and Kirby’s “studio” is filmed from their parent’s basement in Chicago?”

I told you I’m behind the scenes. 

** Kansas City – Fox 4, WDAF at 10:30 am. Every Saturday. For the rest of you – check your local stations.

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Wait, don’t go! Find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram. Stay tuned for more curtain pulling at National Geographic Kids.