But Did You Die?: Setting the Parenting Bar Low.

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You found the landing page to purchase an autographed copy from Julie Burton of But Did You Die?: Setting the Parenting Bar Low by A Bunch of Know It Alls.

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But Did You Die? is the fifth hilarious installment in the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series by Jen Mann. But Did You Die? is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the ‘net. And that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we’re parenting wrong. So put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk while you read this book and laugh your tail off. We set the bar low so you can feel better about your parenting skills. You’re welcome.

Thank you for giving me the gift of your time over the past eight years to read my words on this blog. Your support allowed me to land a spot in my first book. I hope you like my essay titled, Oh Shit.

Because the day your child cusses is a huge milestone.

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An autographed copy of But Did You Die? is $15 payable via PayPal or credit card.

Shipping is included if you live in the U.S. If you are overseas (including Canada and Mexico), I would love to send you a copy but the additional shipping is between $15 and $25. Please email me if you are still interested.

Also – if you would like the book to made out to someone other than you, please shoot me an email and let me know after you’ve paid.

Any additional questions or to check your book status, feel free to email me at: Jbugbytes@gmail.com

And thank you! Thank you so much. — Julie Burton

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The letter T.

There is only one class during my academic career where I had to pull myself out of an F.

It was a high school English class, of all classes. When I was in high school, each student had to bring a grade sheet to each teacher at midterm. Each teacher would write in the grade and make a few notes on the sheet. The students would take the sheet home to their parents. The parents had to initial each class and sign the grade sheet.

I was a B average student, meaning my grades would range from mostly As and Bs and maybe an occasional C. And one F. 

An F in English? It’s unlike me. It’s something I would expect in math but English? This particular English teacher wrote 58% in the grade box. And in the comment box, he wrote: F – FAILING.

Thank you, Mr. Dick. Thank you for explaining to my parents that a 58% is FAILING. My first response was to consult with my fellow classmates. A handful received Fs, most received Ds or Cs. One or two received Bs. Of course, the B students were upset they were not As. No one got an A.

I don’t remember if I got grounded or if my parents thought I was doing drugs after my first midterm F. But I do remember crying in front of my mom, trying to explain myself. They were upset. Their daughter F – FAILED.

I got a C by the end of the year.

The letter T.

Thank you.

Thank you to my teacher? No, that’s sarcasm.

Thank YOU.

You – you reading right now. Thank you for reading my words. I know your time can’t be wasted. And if I did waste your time, well, you’re not reading this. Thank you for listening to what’s on my mind, however meaningless it may be. 

I am a different person when I write. I am shy and introverted. I would proabably never tell you about my English midterm F in person. This is the real me and I don’t have to worry about if I have anything in my teeth.

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t keep working at the craft of writing. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be an author in an anthology coming out this summer. Me – a real author, writing English, in a book that people will pay to read.

Thank you for supporting me. I mean that. You’ve changed my life. Thank you for reading a B average student’s work. And one F.

Thank for proving that English teacher wrong.

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