Me: I decided my next blog post is about John “Motherfucker” Burton.
Scott: OH, COME ON! MY GRANDMA READS YOUR BLOG!
This post is dedicated to Scott’s grandma.
M is an easy letter – motherhood, monarch butterflies, makeup, monkeys jumping on the bed, mud, middle child, marriage, motherfucker.
Motherfucker. It was my first thought this morning. I hate mornings. But there it was – motherfucker – hanging like a piece of forbidden fruit. You know, I wasn’t going to go there. Like I said, I had plenty of other M words to write about today. But a quick google search changed my mind.
The letter M.
Crawl through the depths of my google search history. Do it.
I’ll tell you where it came from – from a Burton. Burton. Hi, I’m Julie Burton. I’m married to Scott Burton. Scott is the son of his dad, a Burton. And Scott’s dad is the son of another Burton – Scott’s grandmother.
I wouldn’t dedicate this post out of disrespect to Scott’s grandmother. I mean, if you’re offended by the word motherfucker, then don’t read it. Hopefully she’s still reading because this is a family history lesson.
Fuck is of Germanic origin. Fuck comes from the German, Dutch, and Swedish words for “to strike” or “to move back and forth.”
You need to go back to 1528 to find the first fuck written. An anonymous monk was reading a book on moral conduct. This book of conduct pissed him off in some way. He wrote, “O d fuckin Abbot” on the page as a side note. Historians don’t know if he meant “fuckin” meaning “the Abbot was having sex even though he’s a monk” sort of way or if he meant “fuckin” in the “intensifier word” sort of way. Fuckin’ Abbot.
The Abbot the anonymous monk was referring to – a man named John Burton. He was shady as fuck. Apparently he had questionable morals. It must run in the family.
And there you go. A family history lesson on the name Burton. A name I married into – Julie “Motherfucker” Burton.