You can’t always get what you want.

My child. My sweet baby, my pumpkin pie – we need to have a chat.

Sometimes in life, you can’t always get what you want.

“But if you try sometimes you just might find…you’ll get what you need. Awww yeah.”

By The Rolling Stones. Remember that.

Sorry, I got off topic with music lyrics.

I heard you took a class vote yesterday. And you weren’t too happy with how the class voted. I understand. I don’t like it when that happens either.

But that’s no reason for you to throw a tantrum. That is no reason to scream at your fellow classmates for being wrong. There’s no wrong or right answer on the class vote. Everyone had the freedom to vote for whoever they wanted. And you know what? No one knows what they’re doing. No one. It’s life.

I heard you told the class that the class is going to blow up, you hate your class, and you also told people you wouldn’t be their friend anymore. How do you think that makes your old friends feel? They made their best guess and you screamed at them. What do you think will happen if you fall on the playground and you’re really hurt? Let’s say the whole class went inside and the last person in line was your old friend and he saw what happened? Do you think he’ll help you even though you said you weren’t his friend anymore? I’m going to guess he will help you because it’s a human instinct. Or maybe he won’t. Kids can be mean. You are my child and I will not tolerate you being mean. Do you understand?

Look at me. Do you understand?

Do you want your classmates to be the same people? Ones that look the same and think the same? Yes. Exactly, like a robot. That’s pretty boring huh? It’s better when we can learn new things from others. Maybe trying another family’s dinner or teaching someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas about your Christmas tree you decorate. That’s called diversity. We all think different and we all grow up different and some grow up in mansions and some in apartments. Do you think all these people will vote the same way? Probably not, huh? And you know what? That’s ok. You’re still going to be a kind person. Right?

I know you’re very upset for your class voting the way they did. But, baby, you can’t save the world. It’s not a perfect world out there. I know you have only the best interests at heart. And I know you want certain things to be a certain way. A perfect world sounds nice. I would love to live in your perfect world. I get that you want to kick and scream. And it’s ok to have those feelings. But you can’t kick and scream at the class.

The class vote didn’t change anything about the classroom today, did it? No. The classroom is the same. I know, it might change in the future. Maybe you’ll hate it. Or you might be surprised and like it? We are one class. People have even died for this classroom. Why did they die? Well, because they wanted to protect their classmates, even the ones that didn’t vote like they did. The classroom is a team. We’re not always right and we don’t always agree but we’re still a team. A family! Yes, we’re one giant family.

A family that loves one another.

You can’t always get what you want … finish it. Come on … “but if you try sometimes you just might find…you’ll get what you need. Awww yeah.”

And who sings that? The Rolling Stones. Good job, kid.

Yeah, I know The Rolling Stones are not American. Just go with it. 


Wait, don’t go! Find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram


15 thoughts on “You can’t always get what you want.

  1. Well.. Take the class and skip school together. Take spray cans and colour the world wild ❤️ It was an aweful choice to make anyways. Both were horrendous. It will play out right not because of the president, because of the people. ❤️


  2. Holy cow, this is condescending. Families are worried about being split up – not without reason – and you want to lecture them for having strong feelings about it? You are so lucky to have the privilege of being a straight, white woman with nothing to lose.

    Let’s extend your metaphor, shall we? The thing the class just voted for is, say, that the unpopular kids now have to come to school wearing trash bags instead of clothes. People are going to laugh at them, and shun them, maybe even beat them up. They’re going to perform worse on tests because they’re so miserable and distracted. But you’re totally cool with it, right, because the majority voted for it?

    Now imagine your own daughters are in the unpopular group. Do you still feel so damn smug?


    1. Dear Anonymous,
      You must feel brave behind the word “Anonymous” let me introduce you to a new perspective: what if I told you, this beautiful, talented, hard working straight, white female of an American is also half Mexican…

      If being split up is a concern within families then they could all pick one location and move there together. Or they could become legal citizens and live a life of knowing they can’t be touched with getting split up.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I would hope the checks and balances of the class prevented this from happening even with the majority vote. Even so – for argument purposes – let’s say it did happen, as a straight, white (I’m half Mexican) woman with nothing to lose (I’m living in the very real possibility of losing everything we own but you wouldn’t know that because you’re assuming that’s who I am.) I would hope the parents of the popular group taught their children about kindness instead of shunning them and calling them smug.
      I’m not saying I voted Republican. I did not. I understand the real fears people have expressed. This isn’t a post gloating about Trump winning or even turning a blind eye to him. That wasn’t my intention. I hope some of the terrible things he said are thrown out. They should be. He doesn’t have complete control. I’m just tired of family and friends ripping each other apart today without the government forcing them to.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. bajeezus. What I took from this is not about which vote is the correct vote or the best. It’s that (one of your daughters. I know which one. . .) didn’t like how the vote went in her classroom. Your conversation was about being respectful to others even if you don’t agree with their views. Or is this blog really about how adults reacted like children and nothing was solved.


    1. Emma learned her lesson the first time. 💜 I’m not even sure who the girls voted for in their school. But yes, this post is about adults acting like children. My own kids don’t act like this. Most days…just not Kansas days. 😂😂 Thanks for reading, Staley 🙂


  4. I’ve been reading your blog since before I became a mom and have always loved your posts. Your relaxed, fun, and honest parenting style is one that I admire and try to emulate. Don’t let this one person who had an issue with your post upset you. The blog was clearly about you teaching your kid(s) to be respectful and kind to others. Keep writing.


Ok, now it's your turn - write me back.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s