Screw you, anonymous.

I couldn’t sleep last night.

There were monsters under my bed. Ok, that’s not true. They were in my phone. Fine. More like monsters in my head only they weren’t monsters. They were people yelling at me. People named anonymous.

These people read the New York Times article, Why I Decided to Stop Writing About My Children.

I don’t know why I read the comments.

Internet rule number one: never read the comments. It takes thick skin to read what anonymous has to say.

I couldn’t sleep last night because my thin skin got a paper cut.

I read the comments because I am this article. The author admits she screwed up. She’s not writing about her kids on her blog anymore. This author’s blog is not different than the thousands of other blogs written by parents – she wrote about her children growing up for the past seven years. Parenting is and will always be a hot topic because becoming a parent is life-changing. It’s metamorphic. It’s relatable. Your life, your body, maybe even your personality can be separated into before kids and after kids.

She wrote about her son starting puberty.

“It seems an obvious line-crossing that I wrote about such an intimate detail, but I did. At the time I didn’t pause for a split second; I was more than willing to go there. I had been writing and reading extensively about parenting tweens. I knew people might be mildly shocked, but mostly interested.”

Her dad called her and said she should stop to think about respecting his grandson’s privacy. She made the decision to stop writing about her kids. Now she writes about nature and trees.

I am not the author of this New York Times article. I don’t know anything about trees. I managed to kill three of them in our backyard.

This author might as well be called a witch and burned at the stake. I’m next. The commenters, anonymous, were talking to me too –

“You’re a narcissist. This blog is all about you.”

“Your kids will hate you when they’re adults. Have fun with that.”

“You just wrote about your kids by saying you’re not going to write about them.”

“Get over yourself.”

“How would you feel if your mom wrote about your first period?”

“You have no respect for your children. You are a terrible mother for giving them no privacy.”

“These bloggers think they can call themselves writers for using their children as stories.”

“That grandpa is a hero. Hopefully, this writer listens to his advice. Shame on her.”

“I hope your kid’s friends don’t read your blog. You just caused your son to be bullied.”

Then I woke up.

I can only speak for myself.

Screw you, anonymous.

I write about my children. I tell their stories. I write down what they say for others to read. I share pictures. I use their real names. I started this blog when Kate was 6 weeks old. My first post documented Kate’s first smile – which is funny because she hates smiling for pictures now. I have been writing about Emma and Kate for 7 years. It’s the only thing they know – “my mom is a writer.” They are proud of that. They are proud of me.

My kids know I write stories about them for others to read. I think they would like their stories as adults. I would want to know what I said as a child. Everyone loves to hear stories of an early childhood they don’t remember.

My kids have never read my blog in its entirety. I’m not sure they would want to read about my bikini wax or my advice to men on how to get laid. Maybe one day, they’ll appreciate my writing as a woman. Or not. I am not the first mother to publicly write about adult topics. I do not write about Emma and Kate’s changing bodies or their drama at school. I don’t write about their insecurities. I do not write about them as much as I used to but that is just because of their ages. That is life. They are becoming independent. My life – my blog – is opening up to more than just my kids.

This little blog – yeah, it’s about me. I’m the main character. It’s my perspective on life as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I know my kids because I raised them. They are two of the funniest people I know. And they know it. I want the world to laugh with them.

If you think I’m taking away their privacy then don’t read it.

Oh, and make sure you tell Mark Zuckerberg that because, to me, a blog post about my kids is just a long caption to a photo. I wouldn’t post a picture of them naked much like I wouldn’t write about which future boyfriend makes them cry.

I can sleep tonight because I know I am doing the best I can. As for my future adult children – I hope they write. For damn sure, I hope they read and write. I hope they write stories about their crazy mother in the nursing home.

I hope they write better than I.

________

Wait, don’t go! Find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

23 thoughts on “Screw you, anonymous.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Preach! By sharing those embarrassing and funny moments we become stronger I think. When we hide behind perfection and expect our kids to do the same is when the real loss can happen. Be you, the most amazingly talented writer and mom those girls will ever know 🙂 oh and don’t stop writing about Chris, he enjoys the spotlight too much;-)

    Like

  2. Katie Schuckman says:

    Preach! By sharing those embarrassing and funny moments we become stronger I think. When we hide behind perfection and expect our kids to do the same is when the real loss can happen. Be you, the most amazingly talented writer and mom those girls will ever know 🙂 oh and don’t stop writing about Chris, he enjoys the spotlight too much;-)

    Like

    • Yes, that’s another parenting issue by itself – trying to show perfection, especially in a social media sort of way.
      I’ll never stop writing about Chris! He gives me top-notch material!!

      Like

  3. Anonymous is often code for cowardice. Don’t these people have relatives to pester? Our blogs are what we share with the world, but their also our histories and legacies. If anonymous can’t handle that, anonymous can go play leapfrog with a unicorn.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. i love your honest and funny and poignant blog, don’t let the ‘anonymous/cowardly’ people of the world ever stop you from writing your truth. i know that i have certainly identified with it and our family is part of who we are. with 3 daughters, a divorce, dating, working, crazy cats, 6 grandchildren, and working as a kindy teacher, there is always something to share. my grown children now say, ‘that’s for the blog, isn’t it?’ every time i take a picture or say, ‘tell me again….’.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’d agree with Eli – it’s easy to take a stand when no one knows who you are. It’s more challenging to stand up for what you believe when folks know you. I’ve written about my kids and posted photos of them on the blog. My kids define me – they make me who I am – and in turn, I hope they have learned from some of the things I’ve done well and the things I’ve not does so well. I try to go by the maxim of, ‘if I can’t say something nice or positive, or simpy add to the conversation, then I should keep my mouth shut.’ I love seeing your kids grow up – I\we have a 13 year old girl of our own who is trying to figure who she is and what she stands for…. have a wonderful week – it’s back to school here. How about your girls? Peace.

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