Name this movie –
“Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.”
Laugh it up. It’s all one big joke until it’s your own daughter drawing penises on her kiddie menu.
Yes, she’ll have chicken tenders with a side of fries and oh hey! That little boy is singing with a fat penis hanging from his pants. KATE!
Mr. Kimble didn’t laugh at his kindergarten student in Kindergarten Cop. And Scott and I didn’t laugh at our first grader either.
Ok, fine. I laughed a little behind my hair falling around my face. But she added a belly button too.
Kate crossed out her picture. I picked up Kate’s drawing and held it up for Scott
Scott: What’s that?
Me: What do you think it is?
Kate stared at the TV above her.
Scott: Look at me. LOOK. AT. ME. Did you draw a picture of a penis on that little boy?
Scott: KATE. THEN WHAT IS THIS. Look.
Kate: It’s a penis.
I looked at Emma, smiled, and dropped my head before she made me laugh.
Scott: And why did you draw that?
Kate: To be funny.
Scott: How would you feel if a boy drew a vagina on a little girl?
Kate: I don’t care.
I don’t hide my body from my girls. I don’t cover myself up when I’m getting dressed. But I don’t walk around the house fully nude either. Emma and Kate could care less about a locker room full of changing women at the gym. They don’t stare or ask questions. The adult female body is just that – an adult female body.
My job is easy. We’re the same sex.
When the girls were born, Scott placed a black box over his crotch and hasn’t moved it since.
It didn’t matter that our newborn baby girl couldn’t see more than a few inches away. It didn’t matter she would never understand or even remember what she was looking at other than maybe that’s another short leg. It didn’t matter. Scott produced two girls. And according to Scott, girls don’t need to look at penises.
Family showers? No. Never.
Family baths? Nope.
If our potty-training toddler needed to use a public restroom? Mens bathroom is off limits. Go find your mom.
There is a strict rule at our house – Emma and Kate are not allowed in the bathroom or closet if Scott is in there. There’s no discussion on the issue. You stay out or you’ll get in trouble. The girls see a welcome sign when I’m in there. They have a knack at knowing when I’m shaving my legs in the shower. Hey, mom? No one is dying but do you care if we have a snack?
I am guessing I would be covering myself more if I was the opposite sex parent. Maybe. At some point my son would say, “hey mom. Put some clothes on.” And I would.
Does a prude dad equal penis obsessed daughter? If by hiding behind a black box makes a child more curious – hey, wait a minute – how does Kate know what a penis looks like?
I really want to know from opposite sex parents – do you cover yourself up around your kids? Are you as extreme as Scott, in that you hide yourself from babies? Or are you open-minded, like me? Do you think if both parents are more relaxed about their body, the kids will be see body parts in a non-funny manner? Do you think that waiter laughed at Kate’s artwork after we left? I left it on the table with his tip.