Oh, the guilt.
You know what – I’ll just write about it. Writing lifts the guilt off my shoulders.
Then again writing is what got me here in the first place.
Damn you, Twitter. In the space of less than 140 characters I sort of pushed Scott out on the stage to be laughed at. I am also on Facebook but I just copy and paste my tweets there. I texted my sisters. I texted Scott’s family. I texted my friends. I mean, my thumbs just took off with a mind of their own.
Let me set the scene for you. Scott and I were lifting weights at the gym. I pull one of my earpieces out so I could talk to Scott.
Me: Can you believe Egon died?
Scott: Who’s Egon?
Scott: (…blinks and shakes his head)
Me: Are you serious?
Scott: Never heard of him.
Scott: Never seen it.
Me: WHAT?! Are you even a boy?
Scott: Uh, I’m not 12.
Me: Uh, but you were once. You grew up in the 80s.
Scott: Never saw it.
My hands lost all control and I dropped my dumbbell. It damn near hit my foot.
WHO IS THIS MAN I MARRIED? I’ve known Scott for 13 years. How did I miss this critical piece of information? It’s like I don’t even know him. He’s a stranger. He has to be the only one out there.
We arrive home. I’m still in a state of shock.
Who you gunna call? My Twitter and Facebook friends!
I threw Scott out to the masses. He IS the only one. Jaws were dropped. We laughed. We cried. We admitted Egon crushes. We reminisced the first time we saw Ghostbusters. We wondered what kind of drugs the creator must have taken to come up with the concept of the Stay Puff Man. I questioned if I should ask Scott if he is a God.
You guys point and laugh at Scott while I slip out the backdoor…
Scott said nothing about me questioning his manhood. He said nothing about me tweeting my newfound discovery. He didn’t even offer to pick up my dumbbell for me because he knows me.
Are you ready for this?
I have never seen the following movies:
- Breakfast Club
- 16 Candles
- Pretty in Pink
- Just a couple scenes from Top Gun
- The Karate Kid
- Just a couple scenes from Dirty Dancing
- All of the Indiana Jones series minus the first one.
- I saw Princess Bride for the first time like 4 years ago.
- Star Wars
- All of the Rocky movies
- The Blues Brothers
I mean, give me an 80s movie and I’ve probably never seen it. I don’t have an explanation for this. My parents weren’t strict. My siblings and I rented movies all the time. I guess I just watched the same movies over and over – like Ghostbusters, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Adventures in Babysitting, and Beetlejuice. Oh, and the Back to the Future series. That’s a good one.
So there. Point and laugh. My conscience is now set free. I have gone years laughing at 80s movies quotes from people as if I know what they’re talking about. I don’t. I have no idea.
Scott knew all of this before we got married.
Scott, sweet husband of mine – “try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”
My mind is blown.
Don’t cross the streams.