I got bored and played Facebook games.

Scott, peeking over my shoulder to see what I’m writing about: I…got…bored…and…played…Facebook…games. Uh, more like I got bored and I’m addicted to the Internet.

Me: Everyone is. And like I’m going to say no to a writing opportunity.

______________________________

“Julie, you can do 15.” — Kelly (Hi Kelly, I’m waving!)

Ok, I’ll play your little game, Facebook. 15 facts about me:

1. I hate bacon. Please, don’t drop me as a friend.

2. Sometimes I think I’m missing the female gene because the only TV I watch is ESPN, I love whiskey and I have toe hair I have to shave regularly.

3. I rarely get embarrassed. Like just today, my father-in-law walked in the (open) bathroom on me. I yelled at Scott that his dad saw my V. Scott’s response was, “well, check another one off your list.”

4. I can be blunt.

5. Take that back – I can be blunt about myself. For anyone else, I will say anything so your feelings don’t get hurt. Your butt will always look small in those pants.

6. My mom is Mexican and my dad is Caucasian. If you ask me my heritage I will tell you Mexican because it’s the dominant gene. I also check “Mexican” on any official forms even though I totally look like my white dad.

7. I refer to my house as The Island because we live on the edge of a busy street. It’s hard for kids to come over and play. My solution is to lure their parents over with margaritas because I’m Mexican. Virgin for the kids.

8. I desperately need help decorating the inside of my house. And I should probably clean more too. But I have a dancing around the house problem when left alone with free time.

9. I am incredibly shy in person. This sucks because I’m always looking for friends. I am realizing now, in my 30s, I need to suck it up and be more confident to find them. I blame middle school for all of this.

10. I have been drinking coffee regularly since 16. My kids love coffee too and have been drinking it since the womb. I feel guilty for that.

11. My dad and I were a full 5 minutes late going down the aisle at my wedding because we were pointing and making fun of family members from behind the glass doors. Scott wasn’t nervous about my late arrival because he knew my dad and I were probably jacking around and not paying attention. The video shows Scott shaking his head and throwing his hands up in the air.

12. I was born on Black Friday. But I pay full price for nearly everything because I’m not very smart.

13. I like watching people’s expressions when I tell them I have never seen the movies Goonies, Breakfast Club, or 16 Candles.

14. I eat the same breakfast every day (english muffin with peanut butter, coffee). And I eat ice cream every night in bed. This bothers Scott much more than it really should.

15. I prefer Twitter over Facebook. Twitter would never let me ramble on like this.

____________________________________

“Julie, you are the best writer I know, so do 12.” — Emily (Hi Emily, I’m waving! And thank you.)

12 facts about my pregnancies:

1. I found out I was pregnant after K-State lost to OU on October 1, 2005. I was hoping the pregnancy test would cheer me up. I showed Scott the positive test result.  We both half smiled then got depressed again about K-State. The little cluster of cells, later named Emma, started to flow with purple blood.

2. I went off birth control for one month when we wanted a sibling for Emma. “Uh, Scott I’m already pregnant.” –“well, that sucked. We didn’t even have fun trying.”

3. Scott does not know that I timed my cycle with “how to conceive a girl.” SURPRISE! And now Scott knows. I just wanted to reuse Emma’s old clothes. Cheaper.

4. My bra size exploded to a size E when pregnant. Yeah, I know. As cool as this sounds for Scott, he was forbidden to touch them because my hormones would instantly kick him in the balls for doing this to me.

5. I traveled to Maui, Hawaii when I was pregnant with Emma. I traveled to Las Vegas, Nevada when I was pregnant with Kate. These cities fit their personalities.

6. I craved 7-11 Icees with Emma. I craved very spicy foods with Kate. These foods fit their personalities.

7. Scott was the one that picked the name “Emma.” Come to find out later, Emma has Scott’s laid-back personality. I picked the name “Kate.” And well, she has been called “little Julie” more than once. I don’t know what they’re talking about.

8. We found out the sex of each child as soon as possible. We did not keep their names a secret simply because I’m not very good at keeping secrets. I showed my dad the ultrasound picture of our baby and asked, “guess what she is?”

9. I went to the ER when I was 5 months pregnant with Kate because I was having contractions. The ER doctor checked my cervix then sent me to Labor and Delivery. The L & D nurses told us they were surprised I wasn’t sent straight to Labor and Delivery instead of ER. Scott told the L & D nurses, “well, that doc down there obviously just wanted to see my wife’s vagina.” 

10. While I was in labor with Emma, a medical student introduced himself to me and my family. My sister, Jessica, said “hey, I know you!” Turns out he was her boyfriend’s roommate’s brother. Boyfriend’s roommate’s brother held my other leg while I pushed Emma. Out of breath, I muttered to boyfriend’s roommate’s brother that he can “shut up,” “you’re not a doctor,” and “screw you, I’m pushing anyway.” I told Jessica that boyfriend’s roommate’s brother cannot be invited to her and boyfriend’s wedding.

11. Kate’s labor was very fast. The staff had to pull a random doctor (not an obstetrician) from another wing to deliver her. The doctor yelled at the nurses as she walked in the room that she “doesn’t deliver babies.” Kate slid into her arms less than 10 seconds later.

12. Scott told me I’m not allowed to write about this – Ha! Let’s “beat around the bush,” shall we? That bush I’m supposedly trying to beat around was a mess at Kate’s delivery. Scott asked me why I let squirrels gnaw at the bush that I’m trying to beat around. Well, I couldn’t see the hedges of this bush I’m beating around with a huge belly in the way, Scott.

14 thoughts on “I got bored and played Facebook games.

  1. A bit more about your vagina in this post than I needed to know but I did have a funny you can’t keep the inside of the house because you side with your Mexican heritage too strongly so outside work is your thing joke, but it sounded crude so I won’t say it.

    Like

    • ksujulie says:

      I have had this conversation many times with friends. I am a completely different person when I write vs. talking to me in person. I probably have a personality disorder. Thanks, middle school. Lol

      Like

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