Marriage isn’t for me.

Stop — Scott and I are not getting divorced. 

I’m back on Blogger Idol, Play-at-Home. 

This week’s assignment: Pick something that is in the news or a topic that is hot right now and write your opinion on it. Stay under 800 words and include pictures.


I rarely watch the news. I seldom check news websites to see what is going on in the world. As a 31-year-old mother of two, hearing about gunshots downtown, complaints about the government and bullies in schools make my heart hurt.

But I do know what’s going on with the world. I’ll hear what is going on through word-of-mouth or social media. Social media is the fastest way to learn what has gone viral. This week’s hot topic reappearing in my newsfeed is: Marriage Isn’t For You by blogger Seth Adam Smith.

No matter what the topic is, posts that go viral are written well. They have to be for so many people to relate to it.

This particular viral post is about marriage. Smith got nervous about marrying his best friend. Smith’s dad gave him advice on marriage:

“Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

My opinion: This blogger’s dad couldn’t be more right. Who is this guy? Can I shake his hand?

Scott and I have been married for almost 10 years. We married young. We had children young. We were the first of all our friends to get married and have kids. It’s hip to wait until your 30s to get married and have children well into your 40s.

Scott and I are not hip.

Scott, what did you get yourself into —
You have a whiskey-loving wife.

10 years. A whole decade of being husband and wife. With any marriage, the occasional “you’re not making me happy” have been muttered throughout the years. I usually mutter these words in the fall when Scott is hunting. Every marriage has lows. It’s easy to fall into the blame trap when you’re there. Every marriage has highs too. The marriage highs are usually apparent on social media  – Look everyone!  My sweet hubby sent me flowers for no reason! Love him. 87 likes.

Smith’s post would have never gone viral if no one could relate to it. It reminds everyone, married or not, that marriage isn’t for you. Being selfish does nothing for any relationship. Marriage is about the person you married. Love is putting someone’s feelings before your own. The more you love that person, they more love you will receive.

“Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.”

Smith’s viral post is a shocking reminder as I sit typing, eyeing a pile of muddy hunt clothes dropped on the kitchen floor for some magical fairy to pick up —

Oh, yeah – Scott is happy.


14 thoughts on “Marriage isn’t for me.

  1. I may have been the last person to see that post so thank you! My mom told me that her parents philosophy was you don’t have to like them to still love them and I have found that I may not always like my husband but I love him so we make it work.


  2. We aren’t hip, either….got married at 25 and have enjoyed 14 years of complete unhippiness….and I type this as I’m about to go prepare a tray of appetizers for Hubby and a group of people he has a meeting with tonight at our house.


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