Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Kate: Emma, what does this say? (points to a word going down her PJ pants)

Emma: Let me see. It says “Tink” (as in Tinkerbell)

Kate: (hopping around the room) TAINT! TAINT! TAINT!


In the car.

Me: Kate, who sings this song? It’s Papa’s favorite group.

Kate: The Falling Stones!


Kate: Mommy, how old are you?

Me: 31.

Kate: Wow. You’re really tall.


Me: Hey Kate, will do me a favor and take these bowls to the kitchen sink?

Kate: Uh… no, thank you. (walks out of the room)


I was in living room. I heard Kate walk in the kitchen and open freezer.

Me: Nope! Kitchen is closed, girlfriend.

Kate: I open it, girlfriend.


I was cleaning the playroom. Emma and Kate were in their rooms within earshot.

Me: Hey Kate! Do you still want this toy? Come here!

Kate: (shouting from her room) YES!

Me: You don’t even know what toy I’m talking about!

Kate: (still shouting) I WANT IT!


Me: Kate, do you think Uncle Mark and Aunt Ashley will have a boy or a girl?

Kate: Mommy! It’s a boy!

Me: I know. I was just seeing if you remembered.

Kate: It’s a boy and he will be brown.


I was at Target with Kate.

Me: Oh. Didn’t you girls run out of floss?

Kate: Yeah. But me and Emma just use ponytail holders to floss.


Kate was playing in our backyard. She walks up to the (glass) door. She scratches the door and barks. I open the door for her.

Me: Did you just scratch the door and bark like a dog?

Kate: No.


Me: Kate, let me see how much you know. What is your mom’s name?

Kate: Julie.

Me: What is your mom’s phone number?

Kate: (censored, but she was correct)

Me: What is your address?

Kate: (censored, but she was correct)

Me: What is your dad’s name?

Kate: Pookie.


Kate: So when do I get a new number?

Me: Huh?

Kate: When do I get 5 instead of 4?

Me: Your birthday?

Kate: Yeah, my birthday.


Emma: Aw, Kate! Gabby (cousin) is getting a baby sister! Aunt JJ is having another girl!

Kate: And Gabby has 4 teeth.


My niece was rushed to the hospital after a head trauma. I decided to bring the girls to the hospital to see Evelyn.

Me: Do you girls want to go see Evelyn in the hospital now? She will look a little different but she will be ok.

Kate: YAY!!! We get to go in a helicopter!!! Eeeeeeee!!!


I was at Sonic waiting for the carhop to bring ice cream to our car. I rolled the windows down because it was a nice night. We were waiting a long time. A carhop came out and delivered someone else’s food to the car next to us.

Kate: (yelling out the window) HEY! YOU TAKING TOO LONG! GO GET ME MY ICE CREAM! COME ON, SONIC! I DON’T LIKE…. (I started car and rolled up her window)


Emma: Pew, Kate. You stink!

Kate: Thank you.


In the car. We pass a middle school with boys practicing football in the field.

Kate: Let’s do that tomorrow.

Scott: You want to play football? With all those boys? They tackle each other, Kate. It’s pretty rough.

Kate: Yep. I want to play that.


Kate was blocking the door.

Kate: What’s the password?

Me: Mommy’s the best!

Kate: So close! Daddy’s the best! You can come in!


Me: Kate, who sings this song?

Kate: Eric Church!

Me: No. Michael Jackson!

Kate: Uh, I don’t want to say those words.


Me: Kate, look at this picture of your cousin, Ben!

Kate: How did he get out?

Me: Ummm.

Kate: Oh yeah, he’s already out.

Me: Yep.


Special Edition, Oh Scott:

Scott: Doesn’t Captain Hook have one eye?

Me: No. He has one hand.

Scott: Oh. Oh yeah. But doesn’t he also have one eye?

Me: No. What are you talking about? He’s Captain Hook. Hook instead of a hand? Get it?

Scott: That’s why Kate was arguing with me. Hey, don’t write that down!

11 thoughts on “Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    1. Ha! I love this!!
      The Oh Emma, Oh Kate posts are cheat posts for me b/c I don’t really have to “write” anything. I’m just copying what was on my phone. I love hearing I make someone laugh…


    1. Haha my girls don’t mind that I write about them…for now.
      Really, just give me 24 hours with any kid and I will have a whole post about the things they said. These posts are too easy.


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