Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

I was playing with sidewalk chalk on our driveway with Kate.

Me: What do you want me to draw?

Kate: A rainbow.

Me: Ok, there. Now what?

Kate: A weed.

Me: A what?

Kate: A weed! Like this! (points to a weed in the mulch)


Kate: We live in a circle.

Emma: We live on a planet, Kate.

Kate: I can’t see the planet.

Emma: You see it all over, Kate!

Kate: But planets are in the sky.

Emma: We are in the sky.

Kate: But I can’t see us!

Emma: You can’t see us if we’re ON the planet. Well, I guess maybe if you take a bunch of trips, you can see the rest of the planet. But not us in the sky. Kate, stop confusing me.


Me: Come on girls, we have to pick up Evelyn (my 5 month old niece)

Kate: Why?

Me: Jenna has to get her classroom ready and I said I would watch Evelyn for her.

Kate: Just tell Jenna to put her on a table.


Kate: I can talk with my eyes closed. Watch.


Kate: Mommy! I’m going to take a picture of you. Say cheese!

Me: No! I’m going to be like you and not smile for the camera (I make an angry face for the camera)

Kate: (Click) Cute!


Kate: Mommy. Sometimes when I fart I can’t hear it. But I always smell it.


The girls were eating apples.

Kate: I got seeds!

Emma: Here Kate, just bury the apple seeds in the yard. That’s what I do.


Kate: How does your body throw up?

Emma: It’s just gets overflowed, Kate.


Kate: I run fast, daddy. Watch.

Scott: You do run fast!

Kate: I’m faster than all the boys.


Kate: Guess what’s in my purse. It starts with an S.

Me: Um….string….silly putty….string cheese.

Kate: No, none of those. It is mommy’s lip glossssssssss.


Kate: It’s cold in here. My bumps are coming up.


Me: Come on, Emma. Let’s go to the neighbor’s house. They’re having a bonfire.

Emma: Do we have to walk?

Me: Yes, we’re walking. It’s not far.

Emma: Mom. I really don’t want to walk. I had PE today.


Me: Kate! Did you meet Bill Snyder last night?

Kate: No. He wasn’t there.

Me: Yes, he was. The old man that signed your helmet.

Kate: That wasn’t the real Bill Snyder.


Kate: I can count to 20.

Me: Ok, go.

Kate: (stares at me. Bobs her head.)

Me: Go.

Kate: I counting to you in my head.


Kate: Emma is going to shoot a deer with daddy.

Me: Yeah, we’ll see.

Kate: You can’t shoot the girl deer or the babies, right?

Me: Yeah, I guess. Is that what daddy told you?

Kate: We just shoot the mean ones.


Kate: It’s wonderful to fart.


Emma: Kate! Get your stinky feet out of my face!

Kate: You need to smell my stinky feet, Emma!


I spent a week watching my 1 year-old niece, Gabby. Special Oh Gabby edition:

Me: Do you girls want to go to Target?

Emma: Yeah

Kate: NO!

Gabby: (shakes her head no)

Kate: YES! I knew Gabby would be on my side!


Gabby: Dada?

Me: Your daddy went to get a taco.

Gabby: Dada?

Emma: He can’t decide what kind of taco, Gabby.


Me: Gabby, can you say Jenna?

Gabby: Den-na!

Me: Gabby, can you say Julie?

Gabby: Yeah.

Me: Can you say JU-LEE

Gabby: Yeah.


(I was showing Gabby a book about Bill Snyder.)

Me: Gabby, can you say Bill?

Gabby: Beeeeel.

Emma: Gabby, can you say Bill Snyder, he’s a legend?


Gabby was hitting Kate’s stomach.

Me: Oh Gabby, be nice!

Kate: It feels good, mom.


Me: Ok, Kate. Time to take Gabby back home.

Kate: Are they done getting tacos? They must have got a lot of them.

11 thoughts on “Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

      1. I can’t express how disappointed I am that Mizzou left the Big 8, Big 12, whatever for the SEC. It would have been awesome to visit you in Kansas and drink your draft beer and watch football while scratching our crotches and shooting crossbows and stuff. I was going to invite myself over, I hope that’s cool.


      2. That was pretty lame when Mizzou left. You are welcome to come party in Scott’s precious mancave. It’s always a good time when you’re a Wildcat fan!!!


  1. I vote the “Can you say Bill Snyder, he’s a legend” comment the best! GOLD!
    Oh, and “Sometimes when I fart I can’t hear it. But I always smell it.” Haaaa!


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