Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

I was playing with sidewalk chalk on our driveway with Kate.

Me: What do you want me to draw?

Kate: A rainbow.

Me: Ok, there. Now what?

Kate: A weed.

Me: A what?

Kate: A weed! Like this! (points to a weed in the mulch)


Kate: We live in a circle.

Emma: We live on a planet, Kate.

Kate: I can’t see the planet.

Emma: You see it all over, Kate!

Kate: But planets are in the sky.

Emma: We are in the sky.

Kate: But I can’t see us!

Emma: You can’t see us if we’re ON the planet. Well, I guess maybe if you take a bunch of trips, you can see the rest of the planet. But not us in the sky. Kate, stop confusing me.


Me: Come on girls, we have to pick up Evelyn (my 5 month old niece)

Kate: Why?

Me: Jenna has to get her classroom ready and I said I would watch Evelyn for her.

Kate: Just tell Jenna to put her on a table.


Kate: I can talk with my eyes closed. Watch.


Kate: Mommy! I’m going to take a picture of you. Say cheese!

Me: No! I’m going to be like you and not smile for the camera (I make an angry face for the camera)

Kate: (Click) Cute!


Kate: Mommy. Sometimes when I fart I can’t hear it. But I always smell it.


The girls were eating apples.

Kate: I got seeds!

Emma: Here Kate, just bury the apple seeds in the yard. That’s what I do.


Kate: How does your body throw up?

Emma: It’s just gets overflowed, Kate.


Kate: I run fast, daddy. Watch.

Scott: You do run fast!

Kate: I’m faster than all the boys.


Kate: Guess what’s in my purse. It starts with an S.

Me: Um….string….silly putty….string cheese.

Kate: No, none of those. It is mommy’s lip glossssssssss.


Kate: It’s cold in here. My bumps are coming up.


Me: Come on, Emma. Let’s go to the neighbor’s house. They’re having a bonfire.

Emma: Do we have to walk?

Me: Yes, we’re walking. It’s not far.

Emma: Mom. I really don’t want to walk. I had PE today.


Me: Kate! Did you meet Bill Snyder last night?

Kate: No. He wasn’t there.

Me: Yes, he was. The old man that signed your helmet.

Kate: That wasn’t the real Bill Snyder.


Kate: I can count to 20.

Me: Ok, go.

Kate: (stares at me. Bobs her head.)

Me: Go.

Kate: I counting to you in my head.


Kate: Emma is going to shoot a deer with daddy.

Me: Yeah, we’ll see.

Kate: You can’t shoot the girl deer or the babies, right?

Me: Yeah, I guess. Is that what daddy told you?

Kate: We just shoot the mean ones.


Kate: It’s wonderful to fart.


Emma: Kate! Get your stinky feet out of my face!

Kate: You need to smell my stinky feet, Emma!


I spent a week watching my 1 year-old niece, Gabby. Special Oh Gabby edition:

Me: Do you girls want to go to Target?

Emma: Yeah

Kate: NO!

Gabby: (shakes her head no)

Kate: YES! I knew Gabby would be on my side!


Gabby: Dada?

Me: Your daddy went to get a taco.

Gabby: Dada?

Emma: He can’t decide what kind of taco, Gabby.


Me: Gabby, can you say Jenna?

Gabby: Den-na!

Me: Gabby, can you say Julie?

Gabby: Yeah.

Me: Can you say JU-LEE

Gabby: Yeah.


(I was showing Gabby a book about Bill Snyder.)

Me: Gabby, can you say Bill?

Gabby: Beeeeel.

Emma: Gabby, can you say Bill Snyder, he’s a legend?


Gabby was hitting Kate’s stomach.

Me: Oh Gabby, be nice!

Kate: It feels good, mom.


Me: Ok, Kate. Time to take Gabby back home.

Kate: Are they done getting tacos? They must have got a lot of them.

11 thoughts on “Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

  1. dusterbed says:

    I vote the “Can you say Bill Snyder, he’s a legend” comment the best! GOLD!
    Oh, and “Sometimes when I fart I can’t hear it. But I always smell it.” Haaaa!


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