The boy.

Guess what?
Guess what?

I have a new pair of footsies in the making!

My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first child. And it’s a boy.

Well, snips and snails and puppy dog tails – Yee-haw! Aunt Jules just got the blessing to shop in the boy clothes section!

I have two daughters. My sisters gave me two nieces. The only thing I know is pink dryer lint. I’ve never been to “the other side” of the baby clothes section. I have caught glimpses of camo and monster truck prints from my land of pink tutus and hair bows. I could look but never touch.

But a nephew. I can fully submerge myself in everything boy. I’m going all out for this kid:

  • I’ll have a football ready for him the moment he is born. He will be in Texas and I will be in Kansas City but the football will be here, waiting for him. I’ll work on my spiral until then.
  • I’ll give his tired parents a break when they visit for the first time. I will rock him to sleep by singing into his little ear. Singing the sweet words of the K-State fight song unbeknownst to his UT grad father and FSU grad mother.
  • I’ll take him to Monster Truck races. We will have the best seats. I will work on my man roar.
  • I’ll flood my backyard with the hose to make mud puddles to stomp in.
  • I’ll take him to Disney World. We will walk past those Disney Princesses and scream down Splash Mountain, front row.
  • After I finish putting my girls’ hair up in ponytails, I will make him a mohawk out of Uncle Scott’s hair gel.
  • I’ll let him take Uncle Scott’s 4 wheeler out for a spin. Emma and Kate will teach him how to drive it.
  • I’ll give him girlfriend advice when he is a teenager. As an aunt, I am automatically cooler than his parents to talk to about girls. I will also be an expert at the teenage girl drama by that point.
  • I will pop Top Gun in the DVD player so he knows the classics. And then I’ll tell his uncle to leave the room because no one wants to hear someone repeating the whole damn script out loud.
  • We will go fishing together, as long as he hooks the worm because ew, Aunt Jules doesn’t do that.

I will be his one and only aunt. I will go all out for him. Not that I don’t go all out for my nieces.

I mean, Aunt Jules doesn't play favorites.
I mean, Aunt Jules doesn’t play favorites.

It will be a nice change to be able to shop for a boy. Scott and his brother will be able to enjoy both sexes of children when they are together. Maybe Scott will let Mark take a turn at fishing for hair from the clogged drain that even Draino couldn’t fix.

Hair fishing in the house of girls.

Little baby nephew, I cannot wait to see your sweet face. I will smoother you in kisses when I finally get to hold you – it’s my official duty as an aunt.

I'm already smothering your wittle sonogram face! I know. I'm getting weirder every time I become an aunt again.
I’m already smothering your little sonogram face!
I know. I’m getting weirder every time I become an aunt again. I can’t stop.

Keep working on growing those footsies. Kick your mom a bunch. Then when you bust out into the world, make sure you give my shirt a good kick too. Like a soccer playa.

10 thoughts on “The boy.

  1. I love this!! I’m the oldest so I’ll probably have kids before I have nieces and nephews. Though I did find out recently that my cousin – who is basically like a sister to me – is pregnant, so I’m basically going to spoil that child like it’s nobody’s business. Coming from a family of all girls, I think that none of my family would know what to do with a boy child, but we’d certainly like a chance at it. 😉

    Congratulations, “Aunt Jules!”


    1. Thank you! My extended family has mostly girls too. Funny how families stay one-sex dominant. I can’t wait to shop in the boy clothes section! 🙂


      1. I die from cuteness with the little baby bow ties and suspenders. I don’t know which sex my baby cousin will be, but if it’s a boy, THAT is one of the gifts he is going to get. 😉


  2. Congrats! If my son is any indicator, you have about 4 years to learn everything there is to know about jet fighters, tanks, and battleships. I’m beginning my training in Star Wars terminology now, because it seems like that’s what’s next.


    1. haha…I’m ready to learn about boys!! Definitely a big change in my family! I’ve never seen Star Wars. Uh oh.


  3. With the caveat that my mom and dad let their two girls wear camo, play with Tonka trucks, and stomp in mud puddles- my sister had her first boy back in January. I still haven’t had a chance to meet him, but he already has a shirt that says his aunt rules, that doesn’t fit him as at 3.5 months he’s already over 20 pounds. I told her I was saving up for his first set of football pads. Kid is going to be a linebacker. And I told her to ship him off to Wisconsin when he gets to be a brat. We’ll teach him to fish and hunt and generally wear his butt out. He’s my first nephew/niece/anything period and being an aunt is pretty cool 😛


    1. Oh wow, he will be a linebacker! That’s awesome. I love being an aunt!! It’s the greatest, after a mom. I’m sure Emma will teach her cousin how to bow hunt. Ha. 🙂


  4. Well crap, I guess my earlier comment didn’t take on the phone. I don’t remember what I said, but I do believe a Monster Truck race is actually a rally. Either way, it’s loud as fuck! Sorry to curse, but that’s the only way to get across how loud they are! If you get him a monster truck Fatboy for his room, he’ll love you forever and ever. A funny thing for you to do would be to lure his mother out of Texas and somehow induce labor so she has the boy outside of Texas. They’re very funny about their “native Texan” bullshit down there so it’d no doubt break their heart if he were born in NYC or Manhattan, Kansas! Lol.


    1. Oh my gosh, you crack me up. I for sure won’t take my girls to the Monster Truck rally. They will complain of the noise the whole time.
      I actually thought about how I could get Ashley to KC and force labor to start while I was writing this. Manhattan would be my first choice but they won’t fall for my tricks.


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