Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Emma: Mom! Kate just said she likes the smell of her underwear!

________

Kate: Who singing this song?

Me: Justin Timberlake.

Kate: Is Justin Tmberwake a boy or girl?

Me: Boy.

Kate: Uh, he sounds like a girl.

________

Kate: Where did daddy go?

Me: To go pick up Uncle Mark.

Kate: Oh. He’s daddy’s friend.

Me: He’s daddy’s brother.

Kate: He’s daddy’s friend too.

________

Emma and Kate were singing to Eric Church’s “Drink in my Hand.”

Kate: ….all you gotta do is put a drink in dad’s hand….

________

Kate was in the car with our babysitter, Erin.

Kate: You feel my feet kicking your seat, Erin?

Erin: Yes.

Kate: You know what that means?

Erin: What?

Kate: Means I gotta go potty.

________

4 am. Kate comes running into our room. She runs up to Scott holding this stuffed animal.

Kate: Daddy! I’m coming in bed with you. My squirrel is scared.

________

Scott’s dad was in town. He is bald.

Kate: Papa! I took your hair off! And threw it in the trash can! And now it’s gone! Haaaaaa! Like magic!

________

Me: Emma! Come outside! Look, daddy got a new truck!

Emma: What about his old one?

Me: We sold it to the car place. It’s called a trade-in.

Emma: What? Like, who would want that truck? It’s like…like all messed up and really dirty.

Me: Well, sometimes they will take it and just take parts from it.

Emma: Well, I’m sure they gave you like a dollar for it then.

Emma knows her stuff.
Scott’s old truck. Emma knows her stuff. Totally worth one dollar.

___________

Me: Belle! (our dog) No! Don’t eat my food!

Kate: She told me she’s just looking, Mom.

___________

Me: Kate. Go pick up your dolls, please.

Kate: Mom. They’re resting their eyes.

___________

Kate was helping me move wet clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Kate: Here you go! Your pants. Your shirt. Emma’s shirt. Your underwear. Your shirt. Your seashells.

___________

Changing Kate’s clothes before leaving for school.

Kate: Uh….I don’t like these clothes. Let’s go look in Emma’s room. She’s in school.

(the first born in me wanted to put her in time-out for that statement.)

___________

Me: Kate, where does milk come from?

Kate: Cows! And Aunt Jenna and Aunt JJ. They make milk for their babies.

Me: Yes. Mommies make milk for babies too.

Kate: Not chocolate milk though.

__________

Kate: Good thing it’s raining.

Me: Why?

Kate: I don’t know.

__________

I was getting dressed while girls took a bath in our bathtub.

Kate: HA! I see my mom’s booty!

Emma: Kate. It’s MY mom’s booty too. Not just your mom’s booty.

__________

Still in the tub.

Emma: MOM! Kate is digging in my butt!

__________

Me: Kate! Girlfriend! You need to learn how to have some patience.

Kate: I don’t know how to have patience.

__________

I was at grocery store with Kate. A man walks past us. He was wearing a KU hat.

Kate: EWWWW! WE DON’T LIKE YOUR HAT. ME AND MY MOMMY DON’T LIKE KU.

__________

Kate: Wind makes people blow away, right?

__________

Kate and I saw a bunch of firefighters outside the grocery store.

Kate: Why are they all boys? The firefighters.

Me: Well, I’m sure there are girl firefighters somewhere. You have to be pretty strong to be a firefighter. So they can carry people out of buildings if it’s on fire. So there are more boys.

Kate: Yeah. The girls are probably sleeping at home.

_________

Me: Kate! Guess what Mark and Ashley are having?

Kate: Girl!

Me: No, a BOY!

Kate: Uh, why.

_________

Kate: I love cockroaches.

Me: What?

Kate: Yeah, the bug. I love them.

_________

Kate got money from her great grandparents for her birthday. Kate looks at the money and scrowls.

Kate: I don’t like money. Money is not fun.

I find this in the trash can 10 minutes later.
I find this in the trash can 10 minutes later. (And yes, those brownies were delicious.)

Me: KATE! This is rude. Do you know you can spend this at the store? You can buy a piece of candy with this. Or save and buy something big!

Kate: No. But I need a card. Not money!

8 thoughts on “Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    1. Thank you! I always have an ear out listening for something funny. I’m glad I write them down or I would forget.

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      1. Thats a great way to remember these things….Some years later when you read these posts, trust me you’ll have an awesome feeling that you cannot easily lose πŸ™‚ Love your blog Juile, I arrived late to the party but I’m trying to make up reading your older posts πŸ™‚

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      2. Ha… late to the party. Thanks for reading! Look forward to reading your blog as well. πŸ™‚

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