Emma: Mom! Kate just said she likes the smell of her underwear!
Kate: Who singing this song?
Me: Justin Timberlake.
Kate: Is Justin Tmberwake a boy or girl?
Kate: Uh, he sounds like a girl.
Kate: Where did daddy go?
Me: To go pick up Uncle Mark.
Kate: Oh. He’s daddy’s friend.
Me: He’s daddy’s brother.
Kate: He’s daddy’s friend too.
Emma and Kate were singing to Eric Church’s “Drink in my Hand.”
Kate: ….all you gotta do is put a drink in dad’s hand….
Kate was in the car with our babysitter, Erin.
Kate: You feel my feet kicking your seat, Erin?
Kate: You know what that means?
Kate: Means I gotta go potty.
4 am. Kate comes running into our room. She runs up to Scott holding this stuffed animal.
Kate: Daddy! I’m coming in bed with you. My squirrel is scared.
Scott’s dad was in town. He is bald.
Kate: Papa! I took your hair off! And threw it in the trash can! And now it’s gone! Haaaaaa! Like magic!
Me: Emma! Come outside! Look, daddy got a new truck!
Emma: What about his old one?
Me: We sold it to the car place. It’s called a trade-in.
Emma: What? Like, who would want that truck? It’s like…like all messed up and really dirty.
Me: Well, sometimes they will take it and just take parts from it.
Emma: Well, I’m sure they gave you like a dollar for it then.
Me: Belle! (our dog) No! Don’t eat my food!
Kate: She told me she’s just looking, Mom.
Me: Kate. Go pick up your dolls, please.
Kate: Mom. They’re resting their eyes.
Kate was helping me move wet clothes from the washer to the dryer.
Kate: Here you go! Your pants. Your shirt. Emma’s shirt. Your underwear. Your shirt. Your seashells.
Changing Kate’s clothes before leaving for school.
Kate: Uh….I don’t like these clothes. Let’s go look in Emma’s room. She’s in school.
(the first born in me wanted to put her in time-out for that statement.)
Me: Kate, where does milk come from?
Kate: Cows! And Aunt Jenna and Aunt JJ. They make milk for their babies.
Me: Yes. Mommies make milk for babies too.
Kate: Not chocolate milk though.
Kate: Good thing it’s raining.
Kate: I don’t know.
I was getting dressed while girls took a bath in our bathtub.
Kate: HA! I see my mom’s booty!
Emma: Kate. It’s MY mom’s booty too. Not just your mom’s booty.
Still in the tub.
Emma: MOM! Kate is digging in my butt!
Me: Kate! Girlfriend! You need to learn how to have some patience.
Kate: I don’t know how to have patience.
I was at grocery store with Kate. A man walks past us. He was wearing a KU hat.
Kate: EWWWW! WE DON’T LIKE YOUR HAT. ME AND MY MOMMY DON’T LIKE KU.
Kate: Wind makes people blow away, right?
Kate and I saw a bunch of firefighters outside the grocery store.
Kate: Why are they all boys? The firefighters.
Me: Well, I’m sure there are girl firefighters somewhere. You have to be pretty strong to be a firefighter. So they can carry people out of buildings if it’s on fire. So there are more boys.
Kate: Yeah. The girls are probably sleeping at home.
Me: Kate! Guess what Mark and Ashley are having?
Me: No, a BOY!
Kate: Uh, why.
Kate: I love cockroaches.
Kate: Yeah, the bug. I love them.
Kate got money from her great grandparents for her birthday. Kate looks at the money and scrowls.
Kate: I don’t like money. Money is not fun.
Me: KATE! This is rude. Do you know you can spend this at the store? You can buy a piece of candy with this. Or save and buy something big!
Kate: No. But I need a card. Not money!