My sister, Jenna (pregnant), made a fort out of sheets and chairs.
Kate: (crawls in the fort) Come here, Jenna! Bring your big belly too!
The girls were visiting their Nana and Papa. They were taking a bath in the master bathroom.
Emma: Come here, Papa!
Papa: You come here, baby!
Emma: I can’t bring the bathtub with me! You come here!
The girls came home from staying with Nana and Papa. Their luggage contained bags of toys and every type of sugary treat imaginable.
Me: Geez, what is all of this?!
Kate: Papa buy me EVERYTHING! YAY!
Emma: (laughs) Papa took us shopping. I just point at what I like and he buys it. Papa is the best person to shop with.
I was using the restroom. Belle, our Yorkie Poo, walks in followed by Kate. Belle sits under my legs.
Kate: Uh, Belle Belle under you.
Me: I know. It’s ok.
Kate: What you think it smells like under there? (Makes a scary face)
I was loading Kate into the car, buckling her in the carseat.
Me: Sit on your butt.
Kate: It’s not fun to say butt.
My sister, Jenna, took Kate out to eat with her husband, Steven, and his mom. Steven’s mom gave Kate a sucker. Kate opens the sucker and licks it once.
Kate: (pauses to think) Yeah, that’s a good one. (continues eating sucker)
Kate: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Kate: Poopy diaper.
Me: Poopy diaper who?
Kate: (just stares at me with no emotion)
Emma: I got a joke. Why is a red velvet called red velvet?
Emma: Because it’s red and it’s velvet.
Scott: (laughs) That’s not a joke!
Emma: You laughed!
Kate: Uh…what does what mean?
I let Emma and Kate paint their nails. Kate was done and walks up to me.
Kate: Mom. My nails are wet and I have a wedge. (Turns around and sticks her butt out to me.)
Emma: Mom. I’ll give you a part of your Valentine’s gift now. (Gives me a hug) Kate you should give mommy a hug too.
Kate: Eh, I’ll give you mine later.
I took the girls out for ice cream after we went grocery shopping.
Me: Oh, I forgot to get frozen fruit for your dad.
Kate: I know what frozen looks like!
Scott: You two girls are the craziest girls I have ever met.
Kate: CHEERS! (lifts her glass up to Emma’s)
My sister, Jessica, was in town. We were all in the car together.
Kate: Hey JJ, look at the sun. Then shut your eyes. You’ll see rainbows!
Me: Wait, what?
Emma: Yeah! Sometimes you’ll see circles when you shut your eyes!
Kate: I see green!
Kate: Where do flowers come from?
Me: The ground.
Emma: Mom. They don’t just pop up from the ground. There’s a seed down there. They come from a seed, Kate. Then they grow into a flower. Then they pollinate and make more seeds.
I was working from home one day. Kate slams a cup next to me.
Kate kept asking for snacks all day.
Me: Stop asking for snacks! You just ate like 10 things. You’re just bored.
Kate: No, YOU just bored. You give them to me.
I was scrolling Twitter, reading tweets. Kate sat next to me and looked at my phone as I kept reading.
Kate: That’s an A. That’s another A. That’s a 9. Oh, there’s a K. Like Kate. Wait, go back. There’s an E.
Kate was controlling the music in my car through my phone. She put it on a fast dance song.
Kate: Put your arms up, mom! Dance!
Me: Oh, ok! (I start dancing while driving) You dance too!
Kate: No, I can’t. I in charge of dance music. You just dance.
I told the girls it would snow when they woke up. In the morning, I hear Kate’s door open. Then I hear footsteps in hallway towards my room, then the footsteps go back into her room.
Kate: HEY! IT’S NOT SNOWING!
Scott’s mom watched the girls at our house while Scott and I were out of town. My dad came over to help shovel the snow at the front door.
Kate: Did Papa shovel that with his hands?
Kate: Did he wear gloves?
Nana: Yes, he wore gloves.
(Later, Nana takes the girls to the grocery store, where there were huge piles of snow in the parking lot.)
Kate: Whoa! Papa did a lot of shoveling!
Me: Ugh. Emma, we’re supposed to get 12 more inches of snow.
Emma: (eyes get big) DEEPER!
Me: Scott, please take us with you to Florida tomorrow. I don’t want to be here with the expected snow. It won’t be expensive at all! (laugh) Hey girls, you want to go to Florida tomorrow with daddy?
Kate: Uh, no. I want to play duck, duck, goose.