Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

My sister, Jenna (pregnant), made a fort out of sheets and chairs.

Kate: (crawls in the fort) Come here, Jenna! Bring your big belly too!

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The girls were visiting their Nana and Papa. They were taking a bath in the master bathroom.

Emma: Come here, Papa!

Papa: You come here, baby!

Emma: I can’t bring the bathtub with me! You come here!

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The girls came home from staying with Nana and Papa. Their luggage contained bags of toys and every type of sugary treat imaginable.

Me: Geez, what is all of this?!

Kate: Papa buy me EVERYTHING! YAY!

Emma: (laughs) Papa took us shopping. I just point at what I like and he buys it. Papa is the best person to shop with.

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I was using the restroom. Belle, our Yorkie Poo, walks in followed by Kate. Belle sits under my legs.

Kate: Uh, Belle Belle under you.

Me: I know. It’s ok.

Kate: What you think it smells like under there? (Makes a scary face)

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I was loading Kate into the car, buckling her in the carseat.

Me: Sit on your butt.

Kate: It’s not fun to say butt.

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My sister, Jenna, took Kate out to eat with her husband, Steven, and his mom. Steven’s mom gave Kate a sucker. Kate opens the sucker and licks it once.

Kate: (pauses to think) Yeah, that’s a good one. (continues eating sucker)

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Kate: Knock knock.

Me: Who’s there?

Kate: Poopy diaper.

Me: Poopy diaper who?

Kate: (just stares at me with no emotion)

______

Emma: I got a joke. Why is a red velvet called red velvet?

Scott: Why?

Emma: Because it’s red and it’s velvet.

Scott: (laughs) That’s not a joke!

Emma: You laughed!

______

Kate: Uh…what does what mean?

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I let Emma and Kate paint their nails. Kate was done and walks up to me.

Kate: Mom. My nails are wet and I have a wedge. (Turns around and sticks her butt out to me.)

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Emma: Mom. I’ll give you a part of your Valentine’s gift now. (Gives me a hug) Kate you should give mommy a hug too.

Kate: Eh, I’ll give you mine later.

______

I took the girls out for ice cream after we went grocery shopping.

Me: Oh, I forgot to get frozen fruit for your dad.

Kate: I know what frozen looks like!

photo-2_______

Scott: You two girls are the craziest girls I have ever met.

Kate: CHEERS! (lifts her glass up to Emma’s)

_______

Kate: Oh wait. I forgot the arms.

Kate: Oh wait. I forgot the arms.

_______

My sister, Jessica, was in town. We were all in the car together.

Kate: Hey JJ, look at the sun. Then shut your eyes. You’ll see rainbows!

Me: Wait, what?

Emma: Yeah! Sometimes you’ll see circles when you shut your eyes!

Kate: I see green!

_______

Kate: Where do flowers come from?

Me: The ground.

Emma: Mom. They don’t just pop up from the ground. There’s a seed down there. They come from a seed, Kate. Then they grow into a flower. Then they pollinate and make more seeds.

_______

I was working from home one day. Kate slams a cup next to me.

Kate: King Triton and Ariel like it under the sea.

Kate: King Triton and Ariel like it under the sea.

_______

Kate kept asking for snacks all day.

Me: Stop asking for snacks! You just ate like 10 things. You’re just bored.

Kate: No, YOU just bored. You give them to me.

_______

I was scrolling Twitter, reading tweets. Kate sat next to me and looked at my phone as I kept reading.

Kate: That’s an A.  That’s another A. That’s a 9. Oh, there’s a K. Like Kate. Wait, go back. There’s an E.

_______

Kate was controlling the music in my car through my phone. She put it on a fast dance song.

Kate: Put your arms up, mom! Dance!

Me: Oh, ok! (I start dancing while driving) You dance too!

Kate: No, I can’t. I in charge of dance music. You just dance.

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I told the girls it would snow when they woke up. In the morning, I hear Kate’s door open. Then I hear footsteps in hallway towards my room, then the footsteps go back into her room.

Kate: HEY! IT’S NOT SNOWING!

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Scott’s mom watched the girls at our house while Scott and I were out of town. My dad came over to help shovel the snow at the front door.

Kate: Did Papa shovel that with his hands?

Nana: Yes.

Kate: Did he wear gloves?

Nana: Yes, he wore gloves.

(Later, Nana takes the girls to the grocery store, where there were huge piles of snow in the parking lot.)

Kate: Whoa! Papa did a lot of shoveling!

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Me: Ugh. Emma, we’re supposed to get 12 more inches of snow.

Emma: (eyes get big) DEEPER!

_______

Me: Scott, please take us with you to Florida tomorrow. I don’t want to be here with the expected snow. It won’t be expensive at all! (laugh) Hey girls, you want to go to Florida tomorrow with daddy?

Kate: Uh, no. I want to play duck, duck, goose.

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