Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Kate: Jenna, how baby get in your tummy?

Jenna: You get married then have babies.

Kate: But how she get in there?

Jenna: You get married and God puts a baby in there.

Kate: But how she get in there? You swallow it?

_______

Me: What do you do with Jenna all day while I’m at work?

Kate: We play. Jenna’s baby in her tummy plays too.

_______

I took Kate to Target. I put her in the cart.

Kate: Mommy. Here’s rules. You scream, you don’t get a surprise. Got it?

_______

The girls were fighting upstairs. Emma came running downstairs to me.

Emma: MOM!

Me: Stop. Is she hurting you? I don’t want to hear tattling.

Emma: Well, she’s hurting my feelings.

________

Scott: North-East-South-West. Never eat soggy waffles!

Emma: Hey! How did you know that? I learned that in school today!

Scott: I learned it in school just like you did.

Kate: HA! Dad. Stop. You don’t go to school. You go to work. Haaaaaa.

________

Scott was eating steak for dinner one night.

Scott: Yummy! Cow!

Emma: Ew, I’ve never had cow before.

Me: Yes, you have. Hamburger and steak come from a cow.

Emma: Ugh! Well, I hope I didn’t eat the eyeballs or fur.

________

Kate: Mommy! What’s all over your jacket?

Me: I had to help your dad move some stuff to his truck so he can take it to the dumpster. The dirt just got all over. I’ll wash my jacket later.

Kate: Oh. You don’t look like a princess right now. Wait, do you have panties on?

________

In car.

Kate: Hey Emma. Let’s pretend we are going to jail.

________

Me: Kate, you are my pretty.

Kate: Mommy, you are my booty.

Me: Beauty?

Kate: BOO-TY. Butt.

________

Me: Girls, come here! Look at the pretty sunset!

(girls run outside with me)

Emma: Hey, you think some kid has ever tried to run and get the sun?

Me: I don’t know. I’m sure some one has thought about it.

Emma: Well, the sun is not like sitting on a wood stand or something, way far away. Right mom? You can’t really run to it and catch it.

________

In the car.

Emma: Kate, do you know where mommy’s feet are?

Kate: No.

Emma: They are not under the car running real fast. There’s a pedal she pushes at the bottom to make the car go.

________

Kate climbed into bed with me one morning.

Kate: Huh.

Me: What?

Kate: Looks like a starfish. That fan up there.

________

Scott: Kate, did you come cuddle with me in bed last night when it was still dark out?

Kate: Yeah, but I don’t like that smell.

Scott: What smell?

Kate: The huuuuuuh…huuuuuuuuh smell. (She breathes with her mouth wide open – talking about Scott’s morning breath.)

________

Jenna: Oh! Kate! Here, feel the baby! She’s hiccuping right now.

Kate: (feels Jenna’s stomach, jumps back after feeling baby) AHHH!! Uh, where’s her face?!

________

Jenna: Kate, do you know where lemonade comes from?

Kate: Uhhhh…

Jenna: Lemons! Do you know where orange juice comes from?

Kate: Uhhhh..

Jenna: Oranges! What about chocolate milk?

Kate: Mud puddles.

Jenna: Nooo…cows! What about white milk?

Kate: The clouds in the sky.

________

Me: Kate, let’s put leggings on. Come on, it’s snowing. You need pants on for school.

Kate: Fine! But I’m taking these pants off when I get home!

________

Me: Kate, what’s this song’s name?

Kate: Tornado. Uh, I don’t like that. It’s spinning and spinning and takes your house.

Me: So you don’t like this song?

Kate: I like this song. Emma doesn’t.

________

I was changing clothes, Kate walks in.

Kate: Mom. You have the best underwear.

________

Kate: Hey mom, what time is it?

Kate: Hey mom, what time is it?

________

Me: Stop the attitude, Emma.

Emma: I don’t have one.

Me: You do when you talk back to me in that voice.

Emma: Mom. I need to talk back to you when you ask me to do something. It’s polite.

_______

In car.

Kate: What does green light mean?

Me: You know what that means. It means go!

Kate: Uh. No, it means other cars won’t hit you when you cross the road.

_______

Me: Kate, where are your pants?

Kate: Uhhh. I play pretend we have pants on.

_______

Me: Kate, quit being so bossy to your sister.

Kate: Mom! You bossy! You are the mom!

_______

Me: Let’s go shopping for Jenna’s baby.

Kate: I don’t want to go shopping.

Me: Yeah, you do. Come on, let’s go to the book store.

Kate: They got a drive-thru?

_______

Kate was on floor, watching TV. Our dog, Bailey, was sleeping next to her. Bailey farts in her sleep.

Kate: (looks at Bailey, talks to her) Uh, I hear that fart. It wasn’t me. That was you.

________

Scott was talking to Kate. Emma walks in and interrupts Kate.

Scott: Hold on, Emma. I can’t hear both of you. Wait until Kate is done speaking.

Emma: Dad. You have two ears. One for me. One for Kate.

________

Emma: Kate, if the groundhog sees his shadow, we will get 6 more years of winter. Right, mom?

Me: (laughing) 6 more weeks of winter. Not years.

Kate: If groundhog sees his shadow, he will stomp on it. Right, mom?

________

Scott: (reading something on his phone in the car) Oh my gosh. This is crazy.

Kate: Here’s my  number. So call me maybe. HAAAAAA!

Scott: (to me) Did she just quote the song?

Me: Uh, yeah?!

Kate: Hey, can you play Call Me Maybe song?

________

Kate: What does cavity mean?

Me: Well, it’s a hole in your tooth.

Kate: Oh, then it falls out and the fairy comes.

________

Me: Kate, did you sit next to your best friend today at school?

Kate: No, some kid got in my way.

________

At the dentist. Kate was getting her teeth cleaned/checked.

Dentist: Hi beautiful!

Kate: My. Name. Is. KATE.

________

Still at dentist.

Hygienist: I like your yellow hair, Kate! (she had a clip on with fake colored hair)

Kate: Uh, you like my boots too? (lifts her feet up)

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