Emma: Let’s take a shower, Kate!
Kate: Yeah! Naked time!
Kate: Mommy. You are the best mommy in the whole world.
Me: Thanks, Kate!
Kate: Open this. (throws jolly ranchers in my lap)
Me: Oh no. Scott, Gabby (niece) ruptured her ear drum.
Scott: What?! How did she do that?
Kate: Gabby be ok, dad. Doctors got it.
Walking in the house after school.
Emma: Take your shoes off! Take your socks off! Take your coat off!
Kate: Take your clothes off!
Backing out of the driveway, taking Emma to school.
Kate: Oh! Finally! Out of the haunted house!
I walked in our office. Kate is sitting at the desk, drinking my coffee.
Me: HEY! You can’t drink that!
Kate: But coffee is double double deeee-wishous!
Me: Hi Kate. You are my little blondie. How did you get daddy’s blonde hair? Why can’t you have my dark hair?
Kate: Uh. Well it turns black like yours in the bath.
I was walking out of the gym with Emma and Kate.
Kate: Hey wait! Do I have panties on, mom? (Pulls open the back of her skirt.)
Me: What?! Yes! Kate! Shhh!
Kate: Just checking. Feel like I no have panties on.
Walking in gym parking lot.
Me: Ahhh, feels like spring out. I love it.
Emma: Wait, is it spring?
Me: No, it’s still winter. It’s just a warm winter day.
Emma: (sniffs) Yeah, smells like spring too.
We were getting girls ready to go over our friend’s house. Scott and I were going over rules at other’s houses.
Kate: Got it. No crying, no screaming.
Kate: Uh…but we can laugh, right mom?
Emma: Guess what kind of toy I picked out from the dentist?
Me: Hmmmm….tell me.
Emma: It starts with an R. It also has an I-N-G in it.
Me: Let’s go to the post office, Kate.
Kate: No! Police officer put you in jail!
Me: Ha. No, the POST OFFICE. Like where the mailman is. Police officers protect you. They don’t put you in jail. Only the bad people.
Kate: Yeah, police officers bite you if you’re bad.
Me: Kate, where did you find this skirt at?
Kate: Uh, my bucket.
Me: Dirty clothes?
Me: But it’s dirty.
Kate: I like dirty.
Caught Kate drinking my coffee again.
Me: Really? My coffee?
Kate: Really. De-wishous coffee today, mom.
Kate: Princesses don’t have butts.
Me: Oh really? How do they poop?
Kate: HA! Princesses don’t poop!
Me: Kate, here. Let’s wipe your nose.
Kate: No, just do this (sniffs hard) and it goes away.
The girls were fighting in the car. Driving me crazy.
Me: GIRLS! If you don’t knock it off, I’m going to turn this car around and dump you at the house.
Emma: Mom. I’ll just get into the sugar if you leave me by myself.
Eating quesadillas with the kids.
Kate: I want cream.
Me: Sour cream? Here you go.
Kate: I pretend it’s glue.
Me: Girls! People are coming over tonight! Let’s pick up!
Me: Aunt Jenna and Uncle Steven!
Kate: Uhhhh…what about baby Jenna? (Jenna is pregnant)
Kate sneezed all over her breakfast.
Me: Hey girlfriend! You need to cover your face when you sneeze, please.
Kate: No. You’re supposed to bless me.
Kate: Let’s call Emma!
Me: No, we can’t. She’s in school right now.
Kate: Her teacher have a phone.