Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Emma: Let’s take a shower, Kate!

Kate: Yeah! Naked time!

________

Kate: Mommy. You are the best mommy in the whole world.

Me: Thanks, Kate!

Kate: Open this. (throws jolly ranchers in my lap)

________

Me: Oh no. Scott, Gabby (niece) ruptured her ear drum.

Scott: What?! How did she do that?

Kate: Gabby be ok, dad. Doctors got it.

________

Walking in the house after school.

Emma: Take your shoes off! Take your socks off! Take your coat off!

Kate: Take your clothes off!

________

Backing out of the driveway, taking Emma to school.

Kate: Oh! Finally! Out of the haunted house!

________

I walked in our office. Kate is sitting at the desk, drinking my coffee.

Me: HEY! You can’t drink that!

Kate: But coffee is double double deeee-wishous!

________

Me: Hi Kate. You are my little blondie. How did you get daddy’s blonde hair? Why can’t you have my dark hair?

Kate: Uh. Well it turns black like yours in the bath.

________

I was walking out of the gym with Emma and Kate.

Kate: Hey wait! Do I have panties on, mom? (Pulls open the back of her skirt.)

Me: What?! Yes! Kate! Shhh!

Kate: Just checking. Feel like I no have panties on.

________

Walking in gym parking lot.

Me: Ahhh, feels like spring out. I love it.

Emma: Wait, is it spring?

Me: No, it’s still winter. It’s just a warm winter day.

Emma: (sniffs) Yeah, smells like spring too.

________

We were getting girls ready to go over our friend’s house. Scott and I were going over rules at other’s houses.

Kate: Got it. No crying, no screaming.

Scott: Correct.

Kate: Uh…but we can laugh, right mom?

________

Emma: Guess what kind of toy I picked out from the dentist?

Me: Hmmmm….tell me.

Emma: It starts with an R. It also has an I-N-G in it.

________

Me: Let’s go to the post office, Kate.

Kate: No! Police officer put you in jail!

Me: Ha. No, the POST OFFICE. Like where the mailman is. Police officers protect you. They don’t put you in jail. Only the bad people.

Kate: Yeah, police officers bite you if you’re bad.

________

Me: Kate, where did you find this skirt at?

Kate: Uh, my bucket.

Me: Dirty clothes?

Kate: Yeah.

Me: But it’s dirty.

Kate: I like dirty.

________

Caught Kate drinking my coffee again.

Me: Really? My coffee?

Kate: Really. De-wishous coffee today, mom.

________

Kate: Princesses don’t have butts.

Me: Oh really? How do they poop?

Kate: HA! Princesses don’t poop!

________

Me: Kate, here. Let’s wipe your nose.

Kate: No, just do this (sniffs hard) and it goes away.

________

The girls were fighting in the car. Driving me crazy.

Me: GIRLS! If you don’t knock it off, I’m going to turn this car around and dump you at the house.

Emma: Mom. I’ll just get into the sugar if you leave me by myself.

________

Eating quesadillas with the kids.

Kate: I want cream.

Me: Sour cream? Here you go.

Kate: I pretend it’s glue.

________

Me: Girls! People are coming over tonight! Let’s pick up!

Emma: Who?!

Me: Aunt Jenna and Uncle Steven!

Kate: Uhhhh…what about baby Jenna? (Jenna is pregnant)

________

Kate sneezed all over her breakfast.

Me: Hey girlfriend! You need to cover your face when you sneeze, please.

Kate: No. You’re supposed to bless me.

________

Kate: Let’s call Emma!

Me: No, we can’t. She’s in school right now.

Kate: Her teacher have a phone.

6 thoughts on “Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

  1. Ha, the “I love you – do this” classic. My family always goes, “I love you” “What do you want?” ^.^

    And you should threaten to leave the girls with the coyotes, my mom always used to say that to us when we were rowdy in the car!

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