Santa, you’re stressing me out. I am left with no choice but to leave a weapon for Emma on Christmas morning.
A weapon – Emma wants a bow and arrow. I totally say it’s a weapon. Scott says, “coolest little girl ever.”
I sat down with the girls last night and wrote down their wish list from Santa. I should have video taped it. Sometimes their conversation is solid gold:
Me: Hey, Emma what are you going to ask Santa for Christmas?
Emma: A cell phone!
Me: I hope a toy cell phone because I think Santa only makes toys.
Emma: Mom. His elves are the ones that make the toys.
Emma: But I want a cell phone so I can talk to Reese.
Me: How about I let you use mine anytime you want and I’m sure Reese’s mom will let her use hers. Boom! Done. You don’t need a cell phone. You’re 6.
Emma: Ok. I know. A. REAL. LIFE. REINDEER.
Me: Why would you want one of Santa’s reindeer? He needs them to fly.
Emma: He can make me another one.
Me: He doesn’t make reindeer. He makes toys.
Emma: The ELVES make the toys!!!
Me: Oh. Sorry, sorry. Elves. Your dad would probably shoot the reindeer anyway. You don’t want that.
Emma: Yeah, he would! Boom!
Me: Wait, what. Keep thinking, girlfriend. No reindeer.
Emma: Ok. I know what I want.
Emma: No, I’m not telling you.
Me: Give me a hint.
Emma: It’s bigger than our house.
Me: Oh geez. Didn’t you tell daddy awhile ago that you wanted a bow and arrow?
Emma: OH YEAH!!! Yeah! That’s what I want from Santa.
Me: Emma, I don’t like hunting. And I don’t like my baby girl hunting, either.
Emma: Mom. I do. It’s fine mom. I need to practice with daddy.
Me: Oh my gosh. KATE!
Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Kate: (Looks at her book) A new book.
Me: That’s a good idea!
Kate: Uh…and a tree.
Me: A tree? You want a tree?
Emma: maybe she wants a treestand.
OH. MY GOSH. I give up.
Scott – you win. You don’t have any sons but you definitely got yourself a hunting buddy.
I’m going to get Kate a tree and we’re going to hug it.