Santa, we have a problem.

Santa, you’re stressing me out. I am left with no choice but to leave a weapon for Emma on Christmas morning.

A weapon – Emma wants a bow and arrow. I totally say it’s a weapon. Scott says, “coolest little girl ever.”

I sat down with the girls last night and wrote down their wish list from Santa. I should have video taped it. Sometimes their conversation is solid gold:

Me: Hey, Emma what are you going to ask Santa for Christmas?

Emma: A cell phone!

Me: I hope a toy cell phone because I think Santa only makes toys.

Emma: Mom. His elves are the ones that make the toys.

Me: Whatever.

Emma: But I want a cell phone so I can talk to Reese.

Me: How about I let you use mine anytime you want and I’m sure Reese’s mom will let her use hers. Boom! Done. You don’t need a cell phone. You’re 6.

Emma: Ok. I know. A. REAL. LIFE. REINDEER.

Me: Why would you want one of Santa’s reindeer? He needs them to fly.

Emma: He can make me another one.

Me: He doesn’t make reindeer. He makes toys.

Emma: The ELVES make the toys!!!

Me: Oh. Sorry, sorry. Elves. Your dad would probably shoot the reindeer anyway. You don’t want that.

Emma: Yeah, he would! Boom!

Me: Wait, what. Keep thinking, girlfriend. No reindeer.

Emma: Ok. I know what I want.

Me: What.

Emma: No, I’m not telling you.

Me: Give me a hint.

Emma: It’s bigger than our house.

Me: Oh geez. Didn’t you tell daddy awhile ago that you wanted a bow and arrow?

Emma: OH YEAH!!! Yeah! That’s what I want from Santa.

Me: Emma, I don’t like hunting. And I don’t like my baby girl hunting, either.

Emma: Mom. I do. It’s fine mom. I need to practice with daddy.

Me: Oh my gosh. KATE!

Kate: Yeah.

Me: What do you want for Christmas?

Kate: (Looks at her book) A new book.

Me: That’s a good idea!

Kate: Uh…and a tree.

Me: A tree? You want a tree?

Emma: maybe she wants a treestand.

OH. MY GOSH. I give up.

Scott – you win. You don’t have any sons but you definitely got yourself a hunting buddy.

I’m going to get Kate a tree and we’re going to hug it.

10 thoughts on “Santa, we have a problem.

  1. your kids are comedy gold, and yes Emma will be the coolest kid ever, im strating to feel sorry for the wildlife and Santa, his gonna have to be quiet on christmas ever, or he’s gonna be mounted to the wall.


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