Oh Emma, Oh Kate

I apologize – I have not written in awhile. Our house got hit bad with horrible colds, an asthma attack, an ear infection, and I turned 31. The only thing I got for you is what Emma and Kate said through it all. Enjoy.

I drove out of our neighborhood to run errands with Kate.

Kate: Mom. I pooped my pants.
Me: Did you really?
Kate: Yeah. Go back home!
(I turn around, park and run her back into the house. I help her pull her pants down in bathroom.)
Kate: Oh! Ha! It was just a fart.

———–

Kate was talking to her Nana on the phone while she was very sick.

Nana: Oh bless your heart. You sound sick.
Kate: No, it’s not my heart. It’s just a cough in my mouth.

————

A certain pregnant sister stole all my bras. I took Emma and Kate shopping with me for some new ones.

Me: Let’s go in here. I need to get some new bras.
Kate: I need some new bras too.

————

Kate: How do you spell JJ?

————

My sister, Jenna, came in town for Thanksgiving. The girls and I were rubbing her pregnant tummy.

Jenna: See Kate, there’s a baby in there!
Kate: (pulls open the pocket on Jenna’s sweater) I don’t see a baby in dere!

————

Kate woke up with watery eyes.

Kate: Mommy! The water still coming out of my eyes.

————

Jenna was leaving to go back home after Thanksgiving. She was saying goodbye to the girls in the car.

Jenna: Bye Emma! Bye Kate! I hope you guys feel better!
Kate: Bye! I hope you believe it!

————-

Kate ran into a chair and hit her hand. She ran up to me, crying.

Me: Oh no! It’s not that bad. Just shake it off.
Kate: (shaking her hand) It’s not coming off! It still hurts!

———–

Kate woke up and climbed in my bed one morning.

Kate: Mommy! Deres no more water in my eyes but deres coughs in my mouth.

————

My sister, Jessica, and her family stayed at my house over Thanksgiving. We were playing with my niece, Gabby, in living room. Kate disappears. Then runs in a few minutes later completely nude.

Kate: I NAKED!!! Haaaaaa!!!

————–

We have an Elf on the Shelf. I – sorry, the elf – made a sandcastle out of brown sugar.

Emma: Whaaa! How did Buddy make a sandcastle?
Kate: Daddy did it when we sleeping.

————–

Before school one morning. I was yelling at Emma from my room.

Me: Emma! I hope you are getting dressed!
Emma: I’m stretching, mom!
Me: Ok. Get up and get dressed.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Are you dressed?
Emma: Still stretching, mom!

—————

Kate: You a booty.
Me: What did your dad and I say about that word? Stop saying it.
Kate: Yes. But I need another word to tell.

—————

Emma: Mom, what is 100 plus 10.
Me: Hmmmm…you tell me what you think it is.
Emma: Ten hundred.
Me: Good try. But it’s one hundred and ten.
Emma: Oh, well I like to call it ten hundred.

————–

Kate: How did Emma get sick?
Me: Well…lots of ways. Germs from not washing her hands, someone coughed on her, she touched something after someone who was sick touched it, drinking after someone….
Emma: Or probably from Kate.

————-

Took Kate to doctor because she kept saying her ear hurt.

Doctor: Let’s check this ear first. Any crazy monkeys in there?
Kate: Ha! No! The crazy monkeys are in THIS ear.

————–

Doctor: Is there anything else that hurts that you want me to check, Kate?
Kate: Uhhhh. Yeah. Uhhh. Kinda when I do this. (Shrugs her shoulders) That kinda hurts.

————–

Night before my birthday, at dinner.

Me: I can’t wait to turn 30 again!
Emma: Mom. You are 30 now. Tomorrow you will turn 31. Not 30 again.

————–

I gave Kate her medicine cup filled with her antibiotic.

Me: Here. Take this for me.
Kate: Ohhh-k. I’ll will take this for you.
(I turn my back to do something. Turn back around. Kate is standing in front of sink with medicine cup upside down)
Me: HEY!! Did you just dump that??
Kate: I don’t like that medicine.

————-

Listening to Christmas music in car. Kate and I were singing to Deck the Halls.

Kate: Mom! Stop singing the Fa la la la la la!

————-

Kate: Ok! Done with my snack! Time to pee and poop!

————-

Me: Kate, why do you have your shirt off?
Kate: Mom. It’s just fun.

————-

Me: Kate! Stop kicking the wall!
Kate: Mom! Stop the attitude!

————–

Me: Kate! You better play nice. Buddy the elf is watching you.
Kate: Uhhh. But he upstairs. He can’t see me.

————-

Girls were in my bed talking at some horrifying early hour.

Kate: When’s it gunna be morning time?
Emma: It is morning time.
Kate: But there’s no sun.
Emma: It’s like the rise is coming up.

————-

Me: Hey girls! No more cereal. You won’t eat dinner later.
(I walk out of room and walk back in 5 minutes later. Emma is pouring cereal in their bowls)
Me: Whoa! I said no more cereal, Emma!
Kate: Haaaa! (Winks and points at me)
Me: What. Did you just wink at me?
Kate: (winks and points)

————–

Kate: We on highway?
Me: No.
Kate: (rolls window down) What does highway mean?

————-

Girls in car. They each had a drink. Emma finished hers.

Emma: Kate, can I have a drink of yours?
Kate: No! It’s mine!
Emma: Hey Kate. OH MY GOSH! DON’T DRINK! IT’S POISONOUS!!

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