Kate: Mom, do you have a pocket for my drawing?
Kate: Here. Yes you do. (pulls my shirt down from the neck then stuffs her drawing down my shirt and into my bra.)
Kate: I love mommy and daddy and Nana and Papa and….
Kate: No. I no love Brett. (ouch. Sorry Brett!)
Our mailbox is far from our house. I drove up to the mailbox to get mail then I pulled into someone’s driveway so I could turn around. There was a line of cars coming up the street so Kate and I sat waiting before I could pull out.
Kate: Ugh! Come on cars! This not our house!
I walked into our bedroom where Scott was playing with Kate. Scott smelled like deer estrous because he just got back home from hunting.
Me: Ugh! Seriously, Scott?! I can’t take that smell anymore. It smells so bad in here!
Kate: But I didn’t fart!
I had music playing on my computer. Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup” comes on.
Emma: Uh mom? Why are they singing about a red cup? That’s kind of silly. It’s just a cup.
I made dinner and served it to the girls.
Kate: Mommy. This is not delicious. Make me something else.
Dropped Emma off at school one morning.
Kate: Bye, Emma! Peace out!
Kate: Mommy, what time is it?
Me: Huh? why?
Kate: What time is it?
Kate: (just stares at me)
Kate and I were leaving a voicemail for Papa.
Me: Wait, it didn’t beep.
Kate: What you say? He gotta pee?
I was rinsing off dishes. I turn on the garbage disposal. There was a loud noise. I shut off the disposal and put my hand down there. I dug out a small handful of coins.
Me: Kate! Did you throw money down the sink?
Kate: Ha! Mom! It’s a wishing well, not a sink!
Me: Emma, go change your leggings. There’s a hole in the knee.
Emma: Mom, it’s a design. Not a hole.
Me: It’s a hole. Change them.
Emma: I kinda like it.
I was carrying Kate.
Me: Oh Kate! You are getting so heavy!
Kate: And you have a heavy booty, Mom.
Me: Ok, Kate let’s put on your boots.
Kate: We matching?
Me: Yep, I got my boots on too.
Kate: (after boots were on) Cheers! (Taps her boot with mine)
It was about 6:30 am and I was sleeping. I woke up to Kate’s face in my face.
Kate: Mommy! Why you gotta be so lazy?
Kate said something completely off the wall.
Me: Kate, you’re smoking crack.
Kate: But what is crack?
Kate: What is crack?
Me: Nevermind. I shouldn’t have said that.
Kate: I’m going to ask daddy what crack is.
I overheard Emma and Kate playing.
Emma: Ok, puppy. I can’t get you food right now. I’m busy. Here actually, let me go to puppyfood dot com real quick.
Me: Kate, will you bring me a piece of that gum?
Kate: Here you go! (Right before I grab it from her she splits it in half and pops some in her mouth)
Me: Half a stick?
Kate: (chomping her gum) Uh huh. Yep. Half. You’re a good sharer, Mom.
I was listening to Christmas music with the girls. Feliz Navidad comes on.
Me: Girls, do you know what Feliz Navidad means?
Emma: Happy Christmas!
Me: Merry Christmas.
Emma: No mom. Feliz means happy.
Every morning since Halloween. Kate will look out a window in our room.
Kate: Hey! It’s not snowing yet!
Me: Ok, girls. What do you want for breakfast?
Me: Ok. Kate?
Kate: (opens fridge and pulls out a huge bag of spinach) I want leaves. (Gets herself a bowl and dumps spinach in it. Eats the whole bowl.)
Kate runs in our bedroom one morning.
Kate: Look what time it is outside! Morning time! YAY! Sun!
I walked into the kitchen to see Kate hanging upside down on our island.
Kate: Oo Oo Ah Ah!
Me: Hey, get down from there!
Kate: I just being a monkey.
Kate ran into the bathroom. I followed her asking if she needed help.
Kate: Get out please. I about to get naked.
I caught our lab, Bailey, trying to eat stuff off the table. She was up on her hind legs with her front legs actually on the table, holding herself up.
Me: Bailey! NO!
Kate: Whoa! Bailey like a big kid now!
I was walking with Kate to pick up Emma from school. Kate starts taking off her coat.
Me: No, keep your coat on. It’s cold.
Kate: I want to be cold.
I was laying with Kate, trying to get her to fall asleep.
Me: Ok. you need to go to sleep now.
Kate: Ok. Just a second.
Me: Girls! Guess who’s coming over for Thanksgiving!
Emma: JJ! And Gabby!
Me: Yeah! YAY! And Aunt Jenna and that little baby girl in her tummy.
Kate: But I can’t see the little baby girl in her tummy.
Kate: Mom, I really sick.
Me: I know, baby. You got a bad cough, huh.
Kate: Ice cream makes me feel better.
Me: Ha! No.