I’m at the point now where I’m like WHAT is going on??? I have teenage sons!!!
Our friend, Brett is in town for a few weeks. He is in town to hunt deer for his show, Killin It Outdoors.
I just laugh at them… and then write to you fine people:
- My house is stinking. BAD. I swear if a buck were to walk inside my house it would start humping everything in sight. My Yankee candles do nothing to help.
- Our Home Owners Association hates us. I’m actually surprised we went this long before someone started complaining about something about our house. They wrote us a letter saying neighbors have complained about Brett’s trailer sitting in our driveway. I mean I guess I understand – a big ass trailer with “KILLIN IT” written on it would make people mad. The boys moved the trailer.
- Brett and Scott have an attitude problem after a hunt. They haven’t shot anything yet. It’s my fault because I “practice voodoo magic while watching Disney’s Bambi.” They make me a home cooked dinner every night – you know, to try and get on my good side. The deer estrous in their nostrils is going to their head and making them crazy.
- The boys have also turned to makeup. They cover their face with black zig zags and designs to camouflage their CHEEKS . Because that is why the deer aren’t getting close to them – their cheeks are exposed. Their cheeks. Ooooo…I swear if I catch them using my good mascara….
- They are getting desperate and superstitious. I won’t name names or anything but someone was shaving someone’s back in the locked bathroom away from my prying camera phone.
- The boys are not always in the woods. Sometimes they need a man’s day. They are currently at a double appointment in some fancy men’s haircut and shave place where they serve whiskey to their customers – oh wait, sorry – clients. My brother-in-law actually could not have said it better when I told him what his brother and friend were up to: “Those two are seconds away from getting manis and pedis, going to spray tan, putting on their favorite Ed Hardy shirts and heading into a club while wearing sunglasses.”
Brett has made this past week far more interesting. I don’t think I’ve stopped laughing since he got here. The longer he stays, the more teenage-like he becomes. My kids and Brett feel right at home wrestling in a mess of a basement amongst toys and deer dander. “Uncle Brett” makes my kids try all his healthy foods and they haven’t complained once. He also….
I won’t disappoint, ladies. I’m good at sharing my eye candy.
If K-State wasn’t doing so well my husband would totally have these abs too. Guess we all gotta take one for the team.