Our friend, Matt, stopped by. Kate runs up to him with a baby doll. The baby had dirt on the butt.
Kate: You see baby poop?
Matt: (laughing) baby poop?
Kate: Right dere. Smell it! (pushes doll in his face)
Emma: What are you typing?
Me: Funny stuff you guys say to me.
Emma: Read them to me. …. Ok, let’s make some more – why did the chicken cross the road?
Emma: He farted and ran away from the smell!
Me: Hey! Will one of you bring me toilet paper?
Emma: Just shake it off!
I was at Macy’s with the girls. Emma had to use the restroom. Kate and I waited for about 30 minutes outside of the stalls. Several women came in and out while we waited.
Kate: (to random women) Hey! You poop in dere?
Me: shhhhhh. Kate!
Kate: She pooped. Haaaa!
Kate: Hey! You poop or pee? … You poop? …. Did you poop?
Emma: I know what a secret is.
Me: Tell me.
Emma: It’s something you can’t tell anyone.
Me: Good job, Boo.
Emma: Well….maybe like one person. Maybe like your best friend. Maybe two best friends.
Emma: Can mermaids be in real life?
Me: Don’t think so.
Emma: Well get out your phone and look that up.
Emma: I’m darker than you, dad.
Scott: I know.
Emma: When I get older I’m gunna be black!
Kate: Who is dat?
Me: William and Kate. He’s a prince. And she is like a Princess, sorta.
Emma: So she is Princess Kate?
Me: I dunno how that works really. She’s a Duchess.
Kate: I princess Kate!
Me: You’re MY princess Kate.
Kate: I the naked Princess Kate!
Kate: I want to go home.
Me: You are home!
Kate: I want to go to (aunt) JJ’s home.
We were meeting my friend, Danielle, at her pool. We parked and started to get out of my car. There was a guy walking his dog on side of road. He had gym shorts on and that’s it.
Kate: Hey!! He naked!! He walking with no shirt on! Haaa!
The guy laughed at her.
Emma: Mom! Kate said she doesn’t love me!
Kate: No I didn’t say dat! It was the doll!
Me: Aw, Kate! Did you go upstairs and get your clothes all by yourself?!
Kate: Yeah. Deres no mean monsters up dere. Just nice ones.
At my parents house.
Kate: I wanna go outside.
Me: Ok, make sure you put on your shoes.
Kate: Yeah! Papa gunna kill me when I walk no shoes on!
While staying at my sister’s house this week:
Me: Ready to go to Oklahoma?
Kate: What does Hokahoma mean?
Kate: Where’s Gabby?
Aunt JJ: She’s eating.
Kate: She eating by herself?
Kate: Mom! Reach my toy! I can’t reach!
Me: Here you go.
Kate: Danks, mom. I so proud of you.
Kate: We dere yet?
Kate: Ugh! Drive faster!
Kate was staring at Aunt JJ nurse Gabby.
Kate: Deres milk in dere.
Kate: (uncle) Coocoo gunna take me fishing right dere. We can’t swim in dere. Deres poop in dere. Duck poop. Just fishing with Coocoo.
JJ was brushing out her hair and it was falling out in clumps.
Kate: No! Why you pull out your hair! Your hair bootiful!
I was trying to give Gabby her first bottle. She wasn’t taking it well. She was crying.
Kate: Ugh! Just get JJ!
Me: Ok, so do I have everyone’s ice cream order? Oh, what about you Miss Gabby? You want a breast milk shake?
Kate: I want a breast milk shake too!!
Me: OK, Kate. Let’s wear this black skirt today.
Kate: No! I don’t want to be a black widow!
In car. I ran some errands with Kate while JJ watched Emma at her house.
Kate: Where we going?
Kate: Oh. Are we dere yet?
Kate: Oh. How many days?
Same trip, on way home:
Kate: I miss JJ.
Me: You miss JJ? It’s only been like an hour!
Kate: I want to go back to JJ’s.
I woke up to a video baby monitor. I see Gabby in her crib, farting away. I stumble into her room to see if she is awake or asleep. She’s asleep, stretching and farting. For 30 minutes. Oh Gabby.