Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Our friend, Matt, stopped by. Kate runs up to him with a baby doll. The baby had dirt on the butt.

Kate: You see baby poop?
Matt: (laughing) baby poop?
Kate: Right dere. Smell it! (pushes doll in his face)

———–

Emma: What are you typing?
Me: Funny stuff you guys say to me.
Emma: Read them to me. …. Ok, let’s make some more – why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Emma: He farted and ran away from the smell!

————

Me: Hey! Will one of you bring me toilet paper?
Emma: Just shake it off!

————

I was at Macy’s with the girls. Emma had to use the restroom. Kate and I waited for about 30 minutes outside of the stalls. Several women came in and out while we waited.

Kate: (to random women) Hey! You poop in dere?
Me: shhhhhh. Kate!
Kate: She pooped. Haaaa!
Kate: Hey! You poop or pee? … You poop? …. Did you poop?

———–

Emma: I know what a secret is.
Me: Tell me.
Emma: It’s something you can’t tell anyone.
Me: Good job, Boo.
Emma: Well….maybe like one person. Maybe like your best friend. Maybe two best friends.

————

Emma: Can mermaids be in real life?
Me: Don’t think so.
Emma: Well get out your phone and look that up.

————

Emma: I’m darker than you, dad.
Scott: I know.
Emma: When I get older I’m gunna be black!

————

Kate: Who is dat?
Me: William and Kate. He’s a prince. And she is like a Princess, sorta.
Emma: So she is Princess Kate?
Me: I dunno how that works really. She’s a Duchess.
Kate: I princess Kate!
Me: You’re MY princess Kate.
Kate: I the naked Princess Kate!

———–

Kate: I want to go home.
Me: You are home!
Kate: I want to go to (aunt) JJ’s home.

———–

We were meeting my friend, Danielle, at her pool. We parked and started to get out of my car. There was a guy walking his dog on side of road. He had gym shorts on and that’s it.

Kate: Hey!! He naked!! He walking with no shirt on! Haaa!

The guy laughed at her.

————

In car:

Emma: Mom! Kate said she doesn’t love me!
Kate: No I didn’t say dat! It was the doll!

———–

Me: Aw, Kate! Did you go upstairs and get your clothes all by yourself?!
Kate: Yeah. Deres no mean monsters up dere. Just nice ones.

———–

At my parents house.

Kate: I wanna go outside.
Me: Ok, make sure you put on your shoes.
Kate: Yeah! Papa gunna kill me when I walk no shoes on!

————

While staying at my sister’s house this week:

(driving)
Me: Ready to go to Oklahoma?
Kate: What does Hokahoma mean?

————

Kate: Where’s Gabby?
Aunt JJ: She’s eating.
Kate: She eating by herself?

———–

Kate: Mom! Reach my toy! I can’t reach!
Me: Here you go.
Kate: Danks, mom. I so proud of you.

———–

Kate: We dere yet?
Me: No.
Kate: Ugh! Drive faster!

———–

Kate was staring at Aunt JJ nurse Gabby.

Kate: Deres milk in dere.

———–

Kate: (uncle) Coocoo gunna take me fishing right dere. We can’t swim in dere. Deres poop in dere. Duck poop. Just fishing with Coocoo.

———-

JJ was brushing out her hair and it was falling out in clumps.

Kate: No! Why you pull out your hair! Your hair bootiful!

———-

I was trying to give Gabby her first bottle. She wasn’t taking it well. She was crying.

Kate: Ugh! Just get JJ!

———–

Me: Ok, so do I have everyone’s ice cream order? Oh, what about you Miss Gabby? You want a breast milk shake?

Kate: I want a breast milk shake too!!

———–

Me: OK, Kate. Let’s wear this black skirt today.
Kate: No! I don’t want to be a black widow!

———–

In car. I ran some errands with Kate while JJ watched Emma at her house.

Kate: Where we going?
Me: Target.
Kate: Oh. Are we dere yet?
Me: No.
Kate: Oh. How many days?

————-

Same trip, on way home:

Kate: I miss JJ.
Me: You miss JJ? It’s only been like an hour!
Kate: I want to go back to JJ’s.

———–

I woke up to a video baby monitor. I see Gabby in her crib, farting away. I stumble into her room to see if she is awake or asleep. She’s asleep, stretching and farting. For 30 minutes. Oh Gabby.

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