Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Picked up Kate from the gym’s kid play area.

Kate: Boy said I was beautiful.

Me: He did? That was nice.

Kate: Yeah. I asked him if I beautiful. He said yes.

_________

The girls were playing upstairs. I heard an “owwww”

Me: (running upstairs) Who’s hurt?

Kate: I just being a coyote. Ow Ow Owwwwwww

_________

Emma went to musical theatre camp and the camp required the kids to bring sack lunches. I sent Emma’s with an “E” shape in her sandwich.

Me: Did you like my “E” shape in your sandwich today?

Emma: Yeah! Then I made it an “F”. Then a “L”. Then a lowercase “l”. Then an “i” dot.

_________

In car,

Kate: Who tooted?

Emma: Smell that?

Kate: Ugh. That’s annoying.

_________

Kate: Nana’s hair is on. And Papa’s fell off!

_________

Emma: Mom, what is an example of a rectangle?

Me: Hmmm…well…a radio?

Emma: Mom! That’s a part of a car!

Me: No, radios can be by themselves.

Emma: Well I’ve never seen that before.

Me: Ok, ipod station dock?

Emma: Yeah, that’s a good one.

_________

Scott came home from work and went to the bathroom.

Scott: Hey, who pooped and didn’t flush!

Kate: Haaaaaa! I pooped! Looks like an ice cream cone!

Scott: What?! Hey, yeah it kinda does….

_________

Driving home. We see a deer eating on edge of woods. I slow down for girls to see.

Emma: I wish daddy was here with his gun.

_________

Emma was watching TV and an ad came on selling Shirley Temple DVDs.

Emma: Mom, who is that girl? She singing and dancing! And she has curly hair like me!

Me: That’s Shirley Temple. This was filmed a long time ago. She’s an old lady now. Actually, you know that drink you like? Shirley Temple? That’s named after her!

Emma: What does she drink a lot of Sprite and cherry juice or something?

_________

Emma: Ah! That fly is gunna bite me!

Me: No, it’s not. Flies don’t bite.

Emma: Yes, they do. Some do!

Me: Well, not that one.

Kate: Tigers bite! ROAR!

_________

Emma: Mom? Do flies have eyes on the back of their heads or something? Because when I sneak attack them, they fly off like they can see behind them.

_________

Scott: Ok, before we go to the gym, we need to find my water bottle.

Kate: Haaaaa! Daddy drinks from a bottle.

_________

Kate: I don’t like halloween. It scares me.

Emma: I like halloween! I get to watch football and eat candy!

_________

Me: Emma, give me my phone back.

Emma: Ugh! Mom! Get your own pinterest!

_________

Emma walks out of kitchen, done with dinner. She told me she was stuffed. I clean the kitchen then start scooping out homemade ice cream. Emma walks back in.

Emma: Hey! I want some!

Me: You said you were stuffed!

Emma: Well, not stuffed with homemade ice cream.

_________

Me: Emma, brush your hair. It’s looking crazy.

Emma: Well, today a teacher at the gym told me they wanted my hair so it must look cute without it being brushed.

_________

Emma: What are you guys watching?

Scott: Wheel of Fortune.

Me: It’s kinda like hangman. You have to guess the word by picking letters.

Emma: Oh. Where’s the hanging man?

_________

Kate: I want to wear this!

Me: No, it’s long sleeved. It’s way too hot outside for that.

Kate: (runs to the window) It’s not hot out! I see a penguin outside! Haaaaaa!

________

Me: Pew, Kate! Did you fart?

Kate: Yes.

Me: Dang, that really stinks.

Kate: Smells good, mom.

________

Me: Hey Emma, do you know who that man is on the TV?

Emma: Uhhhhh

Me: He’s the President of the United States.

Emma: Frank Martin?

_________

Emma: What happened, mom?

Me: Well. Looks like someone went into a movie theatre and started shooting at people with his guns. He hurt a lot of people.

Emma: Well, that’s pretty rude. And mean. Both rude AND mean. Good thing Kate and I weren’t in there.

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