Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

Scott and I traveled to Tulsa, Oklahoma to cheer on our friend, Cierra, in a bikini fitness competition. When we came home, Emma asked us about it.

Emma: What is a bikini fitness show?

Me: It’s a show where Cierra and other girls showed off their muscles to judges. They go like this. (I flexed my muscles to Emma)

Emma: And she showed off her legs too?

Me: Yep.

Emma: And her tummy?

Me: Her abs, yep.

Emma: And her fingers?

_________

One morning, Kate was screaming in her bed. I ran in there.

Kate: I HAVE BOOGERS COMING OUT OF MY EYES! WOOK! BOOGERS! IN MY EYES!!! (screams)

________

Emma: What did I look like as a baby?

Me: Cute. And bald.

Emma: I was bald?!

Me: Yeah, but then your hair grew in. It was a big surprise to see you have curly hair!

Emma: Well what did you think? I’d be bald forever?

________

I took the girls to see Madagascar 3 in 3D. About 30 minutes into the movie, a little boy starts kicking the back of Emma’s seat. Emma got up and moved to the other side of me. Kate took her seat. The boy started kicking Kate’s seat.

Kate: (stands up, faces him and takes her 3D glasses off) Hey! Stop kicking my seat! That’s annoying!

The boy stopped.

________

Me: Girls, should we take Belle (Yorkie poo) to get some ice cream with us?

Kate: HA! Belle can’t hold a spoon!

________

Me: Kate, you’re getting so dark from being at the pool so much!

Kate: Yeah. Belle is dark too. She black.

________

I was driving. Emma and I were teaching Kate the stoplight colors and their meanings.

Me: Ok. So Kate. What does red mean?

Kate: Stop!

Me: Good! What does yellow mean?

Kate: Slow down!

Me: Good job! What does green mean?

Kate: Go faster!

________

I was shopping in the dollar section at Target. Looking for good car trip toys for the girls. Kate and Emma picked out a large microphone that echoed their voice. There was no packaging or batteries required. Kate plays with her microphone the entire shopping trip at Target, yelling commentary to every one we passed.

Kate: (yelling into microphone) HEY YOU! I SEE YOU! … HEY! I FOLLOWING YOU! … WHY YOU HAVE A BLUE SHIRT ON? … HI! … YOU LIKE MY MICROPHONE? … I A KITTY! ROAR! … WHY YOU HAVE KIDS? … YOU LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE? I LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE TOO. … THIS IS MY SISTER, EMMA. … SAY HI TO MY MOMMY.

________

I was driving to our house. There is a neighborhood nearby that is doing construction at the entrance.

Emma: Hey, what are they doing with that big scoop (construction equipment)?

Me: Uh. I think maybe they’re putting in a sewer system? I’m not completely sure. Or maybe they’re fixing it.

Emma: What’s a sewer system?

Me: It’s where all your poop and pee go when you flush the toilet.

Emma: You mean to tell me that big tube is a toilet?

________

Emma and Kate knew they were getting ready to take a trip to Tulsa to see my sister and brother-in-law and their baby, Gabby. We were running errands the night before the trip down.

Emma: Ugh! I just want to rip off my seatbelt, jump out of the car, grab my scooter and scoot myself to Tulsa right now! I can’t wait!

________

Again driving,

Me: Ahh!

Emma: What’s wrong?

Me: There’s a cop there trying to catch speeders. Whew. I didn’t get pulled over. He can give me a ticket if I go too fast. I would have to pay him a lot of money.

Emma: Well, what if you told the cop you were super, super sorry for speeding. And it was an accident. And then keep saying you’re sorry. Would he give you ticket then?

Me: (laughing) I could try that. I think it is up to the police officer. Some are nice and will give a warning.

Emma: Well, that’s what I would say. I would keep saying sorry and ask him if I could please have a warning.

________

I was playing dolls with Kate.

Me: Let’s put Ariel in the boat like “kiss the girl”.

Kate: No! She don’t go in boat! She a mermaid, Mom!

________

Me: Kate! Did you get to hold baby Gabby in Tulsa?

Kate: Yeah. She don’t talk.

________

Me: Emma! Did you hold a sparkler in Tulsa? Those scare me. I don’t like fireworks. I can’t believe you held a sparkler!

Emma: Mom. Be tough.

________

Emma: I’m so bored, mom! (Hello, summer)

Me: Well, we can go swim or go to library, or go on a walk, or go to Deanna Rose, clean up your room, clean up the playroom, watch a movie, watch a movie at the theatre, bake something, color, make a craft, blow bubbles, play with sprinklers, sidewalk chalk….

Emma: Mom! Mom! Stop! You’re making me dizzy from all the things you are saying.

________

At a store.

Kate: What’s that noise?

Me: Sounds like a baby crying.

Kate: Why’s that baby being annoying?

________

I accidentally slammed Kate’s finger in the car door. (Took her to get x-rays, not broke. Just very bruised) The next day. I put Kate into her car seat.

Kate: You gone hit my finger again?

_______

Scott: Mmmmm…this is a good recipe, Bug.

Me: Thanks.

Scott: Where’d you find it?

Emma: Pinterest, Dad! Duh!

________

I picked up Kate from the gym daycare.

Kate: A boy was mean to me. He said NO to me.

Me: Oh, what did you say?

Kate: You tooted.

_________

I brought Kate along to Emma’s swim lessons. I put Kate down in a chair next to some dad watching his kid in the pool while I checked Emma in. I walk back and looked at Kate. She was staring at this man’s arm. I walk closer to Kate to see what she’s looking at. Then she PETS this man’s arm hair. The man looks at her and she continues to PET IT like a dog.

Me: Kate! No! (laughing) What are you doing??

Kate: I pet him. He got a lot of hair.

OMG. The man was nice enough to laugh too.

_________

Kate was playing with Bailey in the backyard with a tennis ball. She runs up to me with the ball.

Kate: What’s this say?

Me: Uh…Wilson.

Kate: Ball name Wilson?

Me: Well, it’s who makes it.

Kate: BAILEY! GET WILSON! WILSON! Hi-ya! (Throws the ball)

_________

Kate: (with two hands behind her back) I got something for you, Mommy.

Me: What is it?

Kate: (pulls both hands in front) NOTHING! HA!!

_________

I showed Emma a picture of her Aunt Jenna having a fun night out with her friends. Somehow, they ended up in a firestation and wearing all the firemen’s equipment. All I can say is beer was involved.

Emma: WHAT?! But Jenna isn’t a firefighter! She’s a teacher!

_________

I was singing along with Ariel on a CD in my car.

Kate: Mom! It’s MY solo! It’s not a do-it. (duet)

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