Scott went out of town on Sunday.
While this may sound like a big deal, it was.
These texts from me come pouring into his phone as soon as he landed and turned his airplane mode off. I couldn’t really stop.
You are probably at 30,000 feet and being served a cocktail. Kate walks down with a full diaper of pee after I put her to sleep for night. The last diaper. I pack up the girls and go to CVS. Emma says she has to use bathroom. Then she says she can hold it. I’m browsing makeup bc I feel ugly after seeing all hot chicks at P&L all weekend.
Then Emma screams. I look at her and she is holding completely still.
She started, Scott. In CVS.
She starts to completely freak out. Screaming and duck butt walking.
I scramble to checkout counter after grabbing some wipes. It reeks and the whole building needs to be fumigated. Kate keeps repeating “somting tinks” to the cashier.
Shit is dripping out of Emma’s pants. I opt to take her outside to back of the car rather than bathroom.
The freaking wipes will not open.
I stab the wipes with my key, psycho style. She refuses to wipe herself so I clean her up, probably looking like a pervert in the parking lot.
You haven’t even been gone for more than a few hours. How was your flight?
I have poop in my finger nail.
His response: Just landed. Sounds like an exciting trip to CVS.
Scott is greatly missed when he goes out of town.