Oh Emma, Oh Kate

I was putting Kate down to sleep. It was dark.
Kate: Here you go, mommy.
(she rubs a hard, small ball in my hand)
Me: What’s this?
Kate: It’s a boog, Mommy.

——–

I was putting away clothes in Emma’s room. It was a nice evening so we had the windows open. Kate was watching neighbors walk by our house from the window. I could hear a man yell “Alex! Get back here!”

Kate: HEY ALEX! ALEX!
Me: Kate! shhhhh!
Kate: HEY ALEX! YOU TOOTED, ALEX!!! TOOTED!
(I grab Kate and shut the blinds after I see the family stopped and looked up at our house.)

——–

I was at Chik-Fil-A in the drive-thru. I noticed there were a lot of police cars in parking lot.

Me: Whoa. What’s with all the police cars?
Emma: Mom. Police officers need to eat too.

——–

I was at grocery store with Kate. (yes, during this visit) We passed a new mom and her newborn. Kate and I start “awwww’ing” at the baby.

Kate: Your baby don’t talk yet?

——–

I was scooping Kate some ice cream before she went to bed. Emma walks in.
Emma: Mom, my tummy hurts. (she stares at what I’m doing)
Me: Maybe you need to go to the bathroom?
Emma: Oh! Wait! It’s a tiny bit hurting. Oh! It’s gone. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Can I have ice cream?

——–

Scott and I were talking about something important. Emma was being loud around us, singing and dancing.

Scott: Hey Emma, can you be quiet for a second? I’m talking to mommy.
Emma: Yeah, I can be quiet.
Scott: Thank you.
Emma: (tilts her hand to the side and moves her thumb so it looks like her hand is “talking”) I just don’t know if I can keep my hand from being quiet though. (high pitched voice) Hi! I’m Emma’s hand! I don’t like to be quiet! I can siiiiiiiing!

——–

Scott was gave Kate a kiss goodnight.

Kate: Psssssh. I wipe your kisses off!
Me: No, you are rubbing it in!
Kate: No. I wipe it off.

——–

I was at Starbucks with Kate. I was waiting for my drink at the counter, holding Kate on my hip so she can watch the employees make the drinks.

Employee: She is so pretty! I can’t get over how pretty she is!
Me: Thank you.
Employee: What is your name, pretty girl?
Kate: Hold on, lemme get this boog. (she starts picking her nose)
Me: Oh geez, no! Stop. Tell her your name.
Kate: Kate. I got a big booger. (rams her finger back up her nose)

——–

Scott and I were talking in the car. Girls were singing very loud to the CD playing “Poor Unfortunate Souls” by Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

Scott: Ok, that’s enough Ursula. (turns it off)
Emma: Kate, sing Ursula. (they both start again without music)

——–

Emma: Mom, today at the gym…I saw a little boy just sitting at a table. I went up to him and asked if he had a friend…and he said no. So I said I would be his friend. And we colored together.
Me: Emma! That was so sweet of you! That’s really nice to do that.
Emma: Well…then…Kate says “No! Emma’s MY friend. And she started to pull me away. I wouldn’t leave though. He needed a friend.

——-

Emma woke up for the day. She calls out for me. I walk in her room.

Emma: Hey, mom? Can we listen to uh…Frank? Frank Sinatra? I really like his music.

——-

Scott was out of town so I took the girls to IHOP for dinner. (By myself. What was I thinking?)

Waitress: Hi, my name is Vicki and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.
Kate: Mickey? Like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Me: No, Vicki.
Kate: NO! MICKEY!

——–

I was driving with my windows down because my air conditioning broke in my car. I pull up to a red light. Next to me is a guy blasting old school rap.

Kate: HEY!! TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN!!! I DON’T LIKE THAT MUSIC!!!
(I roll up her window and do NOT look to see if he heard)

———

Emma: Hey mommy, can I have a snack?
Me: Ugh. It’s kinda late, Emma. Ask your dad.
Emma: Yesssss….that means yes.

——–

Scott: Are you guys going to be at the pool every day this summer? Like until it gets too hot to go?
Me: Yeah, probably.
Emma: DAD! Not until it’s too hot! We will go until it’s too COLD!!

———

Scott: Ok, Kate that’s enough snacks before dinner.
Kate: No, I like sex!
Scott: Did she just say sex?
Me: Kate, do you like snacks?
Kate: Yes. Sex.

——–

Me: Oh my gosh. Scott, I think my computer’s hard drive crashed. Everything I’ve read on my phone says it’s toast. How old is this computer?
Scott: I dunno. Like 5 years, maybe?
Emma: Mom! Computers don’t have birthdays! Do you sing “Happy Birthday” to your computer? That is so silly.

———

Scott: Kate, you are a pretty girl.
Kate: No, I mommy’s pretty girl.

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