Oh Emma, Oh Kate.


Emma: Hey mommy, do you know what windows are for?

Me: Uh…to let fresh air in?

Emma: No, to let stinky farts out (rolls down window).


Me: Hey Emma, the people singing this song are in a group called U2. And they spell it with a letter U and a number 2. Isn’t that funny?

Emma: Ha! Well, they just don’t know how to spell in English.


Me: I’m a kitty! Meow!

Kate: No, they don’t say meow! They say (licks the side of my face) Like dat.


I walk into the kitchen to the girls peeling oranges and squeezing them into a cup.

Me: Oh yay! Are you making some fresh squeezed orange juice?

Kate: No, orange go pee.


Me: Hey Kate, let’s have a dance party. Bring me the remote.

Kate: Here you go, Snow White.

Me: Snow White?

Kate: You look like her. You Snow White. Ah-ah-ah-ahhhh (singing) Sing, mommy. Like dat.


Nana was in town.

Emma: Nana! I’m going hunting with daddy! If you saw me in my hunting outfit, you would think I’m a tree. A tree with a face.


I was unloading groceries. Emma looks at a package.

Emma: Hey! Does this say Hy-Vee?

Me: Yep! Good job, Emma! Did you read that?

Emma: Yeah! Wait, is that a sight word?


I was reading a book about the stars to Emma.

Me: (from book) If you were to drive in your car to the sun, it would take 173 years to get there!

Emma: Well, that’s not really true. There is no road to the sun.


Kate: I like your toes.

Me: Thank you!

Kate: I like your hair.

Me: Thank you!

Kate: (silent and stares at me for a few seconds) Ok, do me.


I was outside and noticed someone picked all my flowers that I just planted.

Me: Hey! Who picked my flowers?

Emma: It was Kate!

Me: Kate, you can’t pick the flowers.

Emma: (turns her back to me) He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not….


I was laying in bed with Kate in the morning.

Kate: You hear dat?

Me: The birds outside?

Kate: Yeah. They talkin’ to me.


Kate: Here mommy. Hold dis. It heavy. (a backpack full of toys)

Me: Oh, well here. Let’s take some toys out. Take this (play) phone out.

Kate: Noo!! Not phone! It’s charging!


I got home from Target.

Me: Kate! I got you some more ponytail holders!

Kate: Good job, Mommy!


Kate: What does a cow say?

Me: Moooo

Kate: What does a cat say?

Me: Meow!

Kate: What does a tiger say?

Me: Roar!

Kate: What does a chameleon say?

Me: A chameleon?

Kate: Yeah. A chameleon.

Me: Uh….hmmm..well….hmmm…Who told you about chameleons?

Kate: Emma.


Kate was on our hammock. She yelled at me to help her get off.

Me: Just roll off, Kate. (Her friend) Colton can do it!

Kate: He’s not here!


Me: Let’s call Uncle Coocoo.

Kate: No, he sad.

Me: Why is he sad?

Kate: Cuz I don’t want to talk to him.


Kate was in a meltdown mode in the pantry. She wanted something she couldn’t have…candy or something. I told her no, offered her another snack. Kate was still in meltdown mode so I walked away. I let her throw a tantrum while I went into another room. I could hear her screams then, like a light switch, it was silent. Kate walks into the room I was in and throws a can of black beans in my lap.

Me: Beans?!

Kate: (pouts) Yes.

Emma: (in other room) Ahhhahahaha! She wants beans, Mom! I whispered in her ear while she was crying, ‘do you want black beans, they’re your favorite!’ and her cry stopped like magic! It was like magic, Mom!


I was upstairs and could hear the girls playing downstairs.

Emma: Let’s play puppy!

Kate: Ok! Ruff!

Emma: You need to go outside, puppy? Here you go!

Kate: (can hear her crawling on the floor) UhhhhhhhHUH!

Emma: Yay, puppy! Big poop!

Kate: Your turn!


I was walking back home from picking up our mail with Kate. We could hear something loud in the distance. Like a shotgun or fireworks or construction.

Kate: Dat fireworks?

Me: Well, maybe…

Kate: Yeah. Fireworks. Over Cinderella’s Castle. It’s far away. I can’t see them.


Scott walks in the house after work.

Scott: You girls need to pick this mess up.

Emma: We didn’t do it! It must have been a ghost!

Scott: It was you. Clean it.

Emma: Well, I guess I’ll pick it up. But it’s still a mystery! I still think it was a ghost.


I’m currently wrestling with letting Kate skip a nap and she goes to bed early or giving her a nap and she is up very late. Last night, she was up at 10 pm and she wanted to call her Nana.

Nana: Hi Kate! What are you doing up so late, baby girl?

Me: She had a long nap today. I don’t know what to do.

Kate: I not tired.

Nana: Well, you need to try and go to bed. It’s late! Go lay down in your room for a little bit.

Kate: Bye.

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