Oh Emma. Oh Kate.

Kate threw a fit about something dumb. I put her in her room. Came down to watch Glee with Emma. Kate stops crying, sneaks out of her room and down the stairs. She stomps over to me, throws me her pee soaked underwear and crosses her arms.

Me: Is this pee???
Kate: It’s dora. Right dere. (points to the dora on the front. Runs off).


I’m trying to put Kate down for a nap. She is drinking her milk.
Me: Are you my baby girl?
Kate: Yeah
Me: Are you my little kitty?
Kate: No.
Me: You’re not my kitty girl?
Kate: I your tiger. ROAR!!


Kate was carrying Scott’s physical therapy rope on her shoulder.

Kate: Claire ate my purse.


I was raking the 50 million leaves in our backyard. Girls following me, waiting for big piles to jump in.

Emma: Ewwww! What is that smell?
Me: Maybe I raked some dog poop in there? But I tried to make sure I didn’t…maybe the breeze is bringing Bailey’s poop smell over here.
Emma: Ew, I’m not jumping in this one.
Kate: I TOOT!!! (laughing) Pew, my toot stink!! (waves it off, laughs)
Emma: Kate! Was that you?
Kate: Yep!


Took girls to Cabelas.

Kate: What’s that?
Scott: A propane tank.
Kate: I want some.
Emma: Nina needs to work on her house for Halloween. It’s not scary enough.
Person: Look at you, Minnie!
Kate: Claire ate the moon. Look!
Person: What about the moon?
Kate: Claire ate it! Look! The moon! In pieces! Claire ate it.
Me: My brother’s dog (hand quotes) “ate the moon”.
Person: Ohhhh…well that bad Claire!
Today, after school.
Me: Emma, did you have P.E. today?
Emma: Ugh. Yeah.
Scott: That used to be my favorite.
Emma: Not mine. I get so tired from running. My legs hurt. My heart starts beating really fast. I get sweaty. Ugh.
Today, after the Dolphins got like their 5th touchdown playing Chiefs.

Me: Ughhhhh!!!
Emma: What?
Me: Chiefs are losing bad.
Emma: It’s ok mom, we like the Wildcats now.


Me: Ok, Kate. I’m going to change your pullup since you peed in it.
Kate: I do it.
Me: Fine.
Kate: (pulls it off and tosses it on ground, wiggles her body and smiles) BODY LANGUAGE!!! HA!!!

(Thanks, Ursula the Sea Witch. Poor Unfortunate Souls. Disney)


This morning 8 am. Kate comes in our room and wakes me up by putting her face in my face.

Me: ughhhh (very sore from night before) you want to go to the gym?
Kate: GYM! GYM!! YEP!!
Me: later.

I’m gunna call her drill sargent kate. If anyone wants to borrow her, by all means….


Last night. Laying with her in bed. Had a thunderstrom. Rain was hitting her window.

Kate: Whats that noise?
Me: I think it’s just rain hitting your window.
Kate: No. it’s Claire peeing.
Me: Claire is peeing on your window?
Kate: Yep! Bad Claire.


Playing I-spy in the car.
Emma: I spy something red.
Me: Tree leaves! That car! My shirt! That building’s roof!
Emma: no. no. no. no.
Me: I don’t see anything red!
Emma: I’ll give tou a hint. It was way back there. When you stopped. It’s a sign. Guess what kind of sign.
Me: A stop sign.
Emma: Good job, mommy!


Me: Emma, did you have music today?
Emma: Music!! Oh, the concert! Oh my gosh, my father’s gunna KILL me!!

(If you don’t laugh at this, you are clearly male. And have not studied up on your Disney Princesses.)


Walking home with Emma.

Me: Did you talk to your teacher today?
Emma: Yes.
Me: What did you talk about?
Emma: How you scream and hit the table with your hands when you eat jalapeño pizza.
Me: WHAT?! No you didn’t!! What did your teacher say?
Emma: She laughed. Like for a long time.

It’s food drive week at Em’s school.

Me: ok, you need to take this food to school and give to your teacher.
Emma: why?
Me: bc it goes to the food pantry. It’s where people go to eat if they don’t have enough money to pay for food. We are giving it to them. It’s a nice thing to do.
Emma: then why don’t we bring them something every day?

Ok, this one is not funny…but awwww…


Me: Em, what are you going to tell Santa when you sit on his lap this year?
Emma: Hi.


Kate: Mommy, I peed.
Me: What?! Where did you pee at?
Kate: From my butt.
Me: No, but where did you pee?
Kate: My gina.
Me: Where did you pee from your vagina?
Kate: Right here. In underwear.
Me: I give up. Go to the potty next time.


Took girls to store today.
Me: Pick out one cereal, girls.
Kate: Uhhhh…here. (raises cereal box above her head) TA-DAAAA!!!! (runs to me still holding cheerio box above her head)
Lady: That was the cutest thing ever. I just want to cheer her on! Ta-da!!


Still at store…
Kate: Whats this?
Me: Beans
Kate: I want some.
Me: We already have some at….
Kate: (Farts like really loud. Physically pushing in a squat position) I toot.
Me: Shhhhh
(another) lady: (not able to hold her laughter) Toot….she’s funny.
Kate: Pew!!!! It stinks here!!


Kate is running down an aisle. Not listening to me. I see her run into a super cute guy with fedora hat.

Guy: Whoa! Hey there!
Kate: ‘Scuse meeee!! (then she stands there and stares at him.) Ruff! Roar! Meow! Ruff!
Guy: Whoa!
Me: Sorrry!! (grab kate while shes still making animal sounds)


Kate: Oh!!!! Claire took the moon!!! (points to the corner of my jacket)
Me: Huh? (then I see it. The Nike swoosh)

One thought on “Oh Emma. Oh Kate.

  1. Your girl’s crack me up!!! I absolutely love reading all of these blog posts you put on here. I know I don’t always comment, but trust me, I do read them. :0) What a great idea in the sense too that one day your girl’s will be able to scroll through here like a memory/scrap book & see all the love you have for them. :0) LOVE IT!!! Love you too missy!!!


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