Scott made it clear that I hit a “mommy fashion wall” awhile ago.
In turn, I stalk women at clothing stores.
The women without kids. It is YOU, lovely 20-somethings, that I stalk.
I got it. I’m rocking some new and fashionable outfit…then BAM!
I go to grab shoes out of my closet…then FAIL!
- Oh, somewhere in the teens, cheap Old Navy flip flops. Every color imaginable.
- Couple special occasion/fancy heels. Like exactly 2. One from my wedding. One from my sister’s wedding.
- Gym shoes.
- Fancier, but still cheap, flip flops. Upgraded to Gap.
- Two pairs of boots to pull over jeans. One Scott insisted I buy last year because I still wear very outdated boots.
- A handful of worn-in heels I took from my mom.
- One pair of flats. They hurt my feet.
- A pair of sandals Scott calls my “Jesus shoes”…which will probably have the same fate as the Doc Martins in the trash can.
Shoes are my enemy. I’m picky. Not in the designer sense or even fashionable sense. What shoes must pass before I buy them:
1. Comfortable. Comfort is number one priority for me. I have been known to walk the Strip in Vegas barefoot b/c my shoes were bothering me. (I was pregnant too, so cut me some slack before you judge).
2. Low heel. Any heel that is over 2 inches puts me taller than Scott. He hates that. I hate that. I’m already awkwardly taller than most people.
3. Hide toes, if possible. My feet are ugly so I don’t like drawing attention to them with cute open toe shoes. I hate when people compliment my shoes when my toes are showing. My instinct is to curl my toes in.
4. Large size. My feet are also roughly size 9 or 10. Pushing mostly 10s since having Kate.
5. No big names, please. I feel guilty for wearing something expensive on my huge ugly feet.
Clearly, I’m missing a part of the female gene.