Kate is a terror. I’m flat out saying it. I’ll tell her to her face. I’ll tell her when she’s older. I don’t care. I am constantly following her because she will without a doubt find something dangerous to play with. The only time I feel relaxed is when she’s sleeping.
When I had Emma, I baby proofed our entire house. Everything was secure before she was even rolling over. Emma would crawl around and get into things but I don’t remember ever getting panicked about it. I started to think all the baby proofing gadgets were really just a bunch of BS. I thought they were just making parents paranoid while making money at the same time. I mean, really, how many kids can put their finger in an electrical outlet?
Then Kate…oh Miss Kate. Wow. Kate is the real deal. She is the alpha woman of the house. The bulldog. She is the reason someone out there invented electrical outlet covers, the cabinet locks, the drawer locks, the toilet seat locks, gates, teether bars on the crib, secured dressers to the wall.
A typical day with Kate:
- Banging on our HUGE television in the living room. Getting as far as she can under the TV stand to play with the wires in back. She bangs every.single.button on our receiver, dvd player and cable box.
- The stairs. If someone, usually Emma, leaves the gate unlocked, she has a sensor in her little brain that sends her flying over to climb the stairs. Fast. When she makes it to the top. She turns around, looks down the stairs. She can’t figure out how to crawl down them. What does Kate do? Stands up and raises her arms. Literally, her toes are hanging over the edge of the first step. Think Jenny on Forest Gump when she’s all strung out on drugs, standing over the edge of the building. I know. Give me a heart attack, Kate.
- Opens every drawer she can get to in the kitchen. If pantry is left open, everything is thrown on the floor.
- Will stretch her whole body out to reach any piece of paper or picture on the refrigerator. She even tries to jump up and grunt. Doesn’t care about the toy magnets at her level at all.
- The bathroom: TOILET. Water – flushed or unflushed (thanks Emma). If there’s toilet paper in there, she reaches and puts in her mouth. If there is poop, she will attempt to grab it.
- Will sit and unravel the toilet paper until the whole roll is sitting in her lap.
- Books: rips out the paper to eat it.
- Grazing for dog hair off the carpet is one of her favorite activities. Like a cow.
- If she falls or gets hurt, I naturally go over and hold her, comfort her. She cries more and wants back down to crawl. She is not a cuddler. After her morning milk, she will not lay with me in bed like Emma used to. No way. She will either try to crawl/fall down our bed or she will stand up, laugh, and free-fall backwards.
- She doesn’t like for me to feed her food straight to her mouth. She backs her head up, looks at the piece of food, then grabs it from my hand and feeds herself. She must do everything herself or I’ll hear her famous ear-splitting scream.
- Just today, she was crawling around with a tampon in her mouth. NOT used, don’t worry. Still in the wrapper. Holding it in her mouth, like a damn cigarette.
- And yes, Kate will sit there and pull out Emma’s nightlight and put her tiny little fingers as far as they can in the electrical outlet.
I’m telling you. She is a terror.