Scott and I went to his office Christmas party last weekend on the Plaza.
Scott and I started the biggest office argument during dinner. We had everyone divided. We had couples getting mad at each other. We got people getting up and leaving early. Leave it to Scott and I to bring up inappropriate dinner conversation.
We were telling a few co-workers sitting at our table about our trip to Austin and how the plane rides went with the girls.
Scott: Get this. I take Emma to the bathroom at the airport in Dallas and I start to lay a base down for her on the toilet seat. And Emma says “Daddy, what are you doing?” JULIE has NEVER put a base down for her!
Me: I don’t put a base down for myself either. It doesn’t bother me.
Scott: That is so sick. I put at least 3 bases. You probably have diseases all over your butt. How do you just sit on that filth?
Me: Because it’s just my butt cheeks. I wash my hands and Emma’s hands when we’re done and that’s good enough for me. And I do flush with my foot instead of my hands. I’m more concerned about my hands than my butt.
This conversation continues on for the rest of the evening. People at our table start picking sides. People were yelling at other tables, “Hey, do you put a base down??!!” I am so glad that we had a private room because I’m sure this would have been carried on to tables of people we didn’t know. The room was divided in half. We touched every aspect. What about port-a-pottys? What about at home? What about at someone else’s home? What about at work? In school? Can germs come through the toilet paper you lay down? What about that thin paper base? And do you cover ALL parts of the seat? How many times do you clean your toilet at home compared to a public restroom? What if you’re in a hurry? What if you’re drunk?
I have to say I was a little shocked at who was on “my” side and who was on “Scott’s”. Even that in and of itself is a little shocking, between Scott and I. I am generally the clean one and he is the slob. But not with public restrooms, apparently.
Me? I think it’s a little ridiculous to spend that much time laying layers down. I think the last time I did that was in elementary school. I have never had an STD. I have never gotten any kind of weird rash. I have never even heard of anyone getting anything from sitting on a toilet seat. I’m pretty sure my personal toilet seats are dirtier than any public restrooms.
If you disagree, by all means, layer away. I just don’t see a need to.