Boy. Girl.

I came across this article today.  It is about moms being disappointed in having a boy instead of a girl.

Having two girls, I don’t fall in this category.

Although, I can relate.  When I found out I was pregnant with Emma, all I wanted was a girl.  People would ask me which sex I wanted, I would say girl.  I know, most moms would say “either, as long as it’s healthy.”  Of course, I wanted a healthy baby, who doesn’t?  But as far as my preferred sex? A girl.  I know I would have been at least a little disappointed with a boy but I’m sure that feeling would have been short-lived.

When Scott found out we were having a girl at the ultrasound, he actually threw down our coats on the floor and said “oh crap!”

I find it interesting in this article, it doesn’t mention fathers being disappointed in girls.  Or even the father’s family being disappointed in girls.  A boy is wanted to “pass on the family name” or whatever.  All throughout history, you hear about a boy being the preferred gender.  Some say boys are easier to raise.  Some say they are cheaper to raise.  (If you ask me, I believe it completely depends on the child, not the sex.)

When we found out Kate’s gender at the ultrasound, I remember seeing Scott’s face fall.  The only way I can describe it is imagine a boy’s face if someone killed his puppy right in front of him.  Extreme sadness.  Disappointment.  Fear.  Maybe some anger.  I felt really bad for Scott.  He is 100% testosterone.  A “man’s man,” if you will.  I was more open to having a boy when I was pregnant with Kate.  I had my girl, a boy would have been fine with me.  I was very excited for another girl when the nurse told us the sex…until I saw Scott’s face.

I get the sneaking feeling that his parents were a little disappointed too.  They want us to have more children “for the boy.”  I hear all the time–from both sides of the family–that Scott is “not a real man because he cannot produce a son.”  (And that statement makes me angry just because they make it seem that a girl is less of a blessing).  Scott is convinced he will forever have girls and is another reason for him to stop having any more children.  See previous post.

Scott will tell you now, he is happy with his girls.  They light up his life.  He is finally starting to see that a 3 year old girl is just has fun as a boy would be.  She is outgoing.  Likes to learn about anything.  Likes sporting events.  Wrestles with dad.  Is not grossed out by playing in mud or dirt.  She looks up to him.  He thinks it’s adorable when Emma dresses up like a princess or plays with my makeup.

I have been questioning the idea of stopping the addition of more children to our family.  I see little boys and I sometimes get a small wave of sadness.  This past summer, I got a little sad seeing all the boy baseball teams playing under the lights at the park.  I wonder what it’s really like to raise a son.  I don’t quite understand that mother/son bond every woman I know with boys has.

Asking adults with grown children, they all say they wouldn’t change a thing in the end.  All boys.  All girls.  Mix of both.  Doesn’t matter.  They are your kids and no one can choose their sex.  You get what you get and you love them anyway.

One thought on “Boy. Girl.

  1. >I feel pressure to have a boy too. If I only had to have one sex of a baby though, I would choose girl, I think. What is the saying? You have a girl for life and a boy until they find a wife. Still hope I have that boy though. . .

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