I think only moms can find humor in this story.
I get a 4 am wakeup call from Kate. I know the drill: nurse her, listen to her poop as I’m nursing her. I walk her to the changing table after she is done eating.
I lay her down and open her diaper.
I pull the diaper away and grab a wipe. – mistake no. 1.
While I’m grabbing the wipe, she farts. I immediately put my face close to her butt b/c I don’t have my contacts in to see if she pooped on the blanket – mistake no. 2
She did indeed poop on the blanket. A split second later she fart poops ALL OVER THE SIDE OF MY FACE. She pushed this crap load with so much force, she also sprayed the wall, the changing table and the floor.
I clean off my face with a wipe and start to wipe off the walls, completely forgetting about Kate laying there with no diaper on – mistake no. 3.
Another fart spray of yellow poop splatters all over the wall. Again. I jumped back and looked at Kate. She is looking at me SMILING. She coos as I clean her up. I nursed her one last time and she falls asleep.
You can bet money I woke up Scott to show him my yellow hair.