“How am I going to write about this?”
I asked myself this question a lot.
I want to tell you our Dominican Republic fishing trip was amazing. But I can’t write that. That’s boring. That doesn’t tell you anything.
Our Dominican Republic fishing trip was amazing.
Man versus fish. No, no – man versus a really angry fish. No. Man versus the holy grail of fish in the sea. Man versus marlin.
Or woman versus Taylor Swift fan.
Did you know bobbing for apples on a boat in the Atlantic while listening to Taylor Swift’s Red and tossing chocolate at the captain will get a marlin to bite?
There’s a Go Pro camera at the bottom of that bucket filming our faces because Brett is hilarious. HILARIOUS.
A 5 day marlin fishing trip in the Dominican Republic. No sightseeing. No laying out on the beach. No overpriced day excursions. No fancy restaurants. No fruity cocktails with an umbrella straw served by a cute Dominican boy.
I mean, let’s call this trip what it really is – it’s a guys trip.
How did my pretty coconuts get permission aboard? Well, men like pretty coconuts. The trick to sneaking on a guys trip is you do not be Taylor Swift. Drama and whining about men will get you thrown overboard. Your red lipstick tube will be flying in right after you. You sit back, grab a beer, enjoy the view and become one of the guys.
I swear that smell wasn’t me.
There’s a bite.
A reel is thrown in your hands and a fighting belt appears on your waist.
The ocean noise level goes up. The waves grow larger. Weren’t we just gently rocking? What happened to Taylor?
Mother nature is pissed off. A damn fish is trying to pull you into the ocean. The fish wants to drown you.
Pain sears through your arms. They feel like the color red. Seriously, what happened to Taylor? Your knees get slammed against the boat. Then your hips. You tip over. Someone grabs you tight from behind. Another person is holding a camera in your face. Why the hell are we filming now!? There’s yelling from someone but you don’t know who. The only thing you can focus on is the voice and pain.
“Keep reeling! Stop! Let him take the line! Keep your reel tip up! Ok, now use the waves! Reel down with the wave. Pull up as the wave goes up. Reel down, pull up. Good. You’re doing great.”
The captain yells from above,
“We got a jumper! White marlin!”
You look up and see your fish. It clicks. The boat is on your side. The waves are helping you. The boat moans as it backs down on the fish. Water pours over your waist and into the boat. It puddles around your ankles.
“Move to the left! Quick! Keep the line tight! THERE’S COLOR! Step back and keep the line tight! We’re going to lift him up for a picture. Then we’ll tag and release him. Step back! Step back!”
And then I turned into a man.
It was an adrenaline-fueled fishing trip in the Dominican Republic. We caught and released a total of 5 blue marlins and one white marlin. There are not a lot of people from Kansas that can say that, especially women. Marlin fishing versus sitting in the sand – I’ll take marlin fishing. I fish for women everywhere.
To Captain Q! Thank you!
A huge thank you to everyone on the Get Lit – Kitt, Brett, Brent, Kelly and Captain Q – you guys are wild and I love it. We can’t wait for next year!
We also want to thank everyone on the Fish Tank for taking us out for a day – Chris, Justin, and Ben – thank you for shooting Brett in the ass with a paint gun. That superstition worked better than bobbing for apples.
The Get Lit team and Fish Tank team – we love a good selfie.