I know. I’ll stop with the Halloween talk.
Scott and I have been brainstorming about Halloween costumes. We are thinking about hosting an adults-only Halloween party.
Ah, costume ideas. You know, because August is the perfect time to think about Halloween.
Me: Ok, what about Mary Poppins and Bert? The kids would get a kick out of us! Maybe I could bark orders at them in a British accent and they’ll listen! Chip chop!
Scott: I have no idea who that is.
Me: Come on! Yes, you do! Chim chiminey…chim chiminey…chim chim char-roo.
Me: Ok, let’s do something creepy. Ooooo!! I can get out my wedding dress and we can be a dead bride and groom! You think I can still fit into it? Surely… BEETLEJUICE! YES! You know the part where they rise up in their wedding dress and tux??
Scott: No. You are sick in the head. Why would you want to look dead in your wedding dress? You’re depressing me. You know what? I’m just gunna be a gigolo. What’s his name? Miracle Mike?
Me: Magic Mike? SCOTT! No way!! Would you really dress like that?
Scott: Yeah, you think a construction worker or cop would be better?
Me: You can’t wear that. What would the kids think? And you can’t be answering the door for trick-or-treaters like that either! That is straight up porn-ish. Well…hmmmm…I might send the word out for the neighborhood moms to stop by and take a little looksie. You would have so many moms trick-or-treating here! But what could I be?
Me: No, Scott. No. What about like a German beer couple? I could rock that. We make our own beer. So it makes sense. We can serve our beer!
Scott: And have my friends checking out your boobs?
Me: Like they don’t anyway? Bahahahaa…what about this one! You are such a good dancer, you could totally pull this off! You’re Swayze!!
Scott: I don’t think any one would know who we are. And you can’t dance.
Me: Yeah, I don’t want to make my hair all 80s anyway. Dang, I wish I had her tiny boobs. Oh my gosh! I found it!
Scott: HA! YES!
Me: Dude. I was totally kidding. Although, that would be really cheap for us to do. I know! I know! DON DRAPER! And I can be Betty Draper!! Please!!!
Scott: That guy is way too good looking. I can’t be him.
Me: Yeah, I guess I can’t really be Betty Draper either unless I got a wig. Damn. That is such a good one. Yeah, Don Draper is really hot.
Scott: Can’t I just be a gigolo?
Me: No! Hmmm…let me think. Vampires?
Scott: That is un-original.
Me: Ok…what guy has blonde hair with a dark-haired girl…AH! William and Kate!!! Yes! You kinda look like William! And if I got a longer haired-wig. YES!
Scott: Let me see that. I don’t look like him! Am I going bald?
Me: And we could talk in British accents all night! HA! I love it!
Scott: Maybe. Yeah, I could be William.
Me: Hey look, we’ll look like this at the end of the night.
Scott: I’ll think about it. William or gigolo.