Constipated? Try this.

6 Aug

I know you’ve fell victim to it. An early morning plane ride…land at your destination…get to your hotel…unpack…check out the new scenery…get some food…get back to your hotel room and get ready for bed. Then you realize…you haven’t taken a crap all day.

Traveling constipation.

How does your body just know to hold it in? I ponder this often. Traveling by plane, car, train, spending the night a friend’s house, even doing something out of your normal routine…your body will pull out all the stops.┬áIt’s one of my most dreaded things when traveling. It comes a close 2nd to plane rides with kids.

But I am writing to tell you I have found a cure. And I have tried it all. Drinking hot coffee. Eating double of my daily fiber recommendation. Taking a stool softener. Drinking water every chance I get. The only thing that is guaranteed: Chipotle.

I swear to you. This little concoction will do the trick. Whether you “unload yourself” before you leave the next morning in the comfort of your home or at the airport or in the airplane, you WILL be getting a good cleansing of the bowls about 12 hours after consuming.

Now, I must warn you…you better be putting your big girl/boy Mexican pants on. It’s spicy hot. Do whatever it takes to down the meal. Get yourself a glass of milk (do not drink water, it only makes the hotness worse). Get some bread. Or swipe your tongue with some baby Orajel. I like spicy foods so I don’t have a problem. Just looking out for those that do.

Here we go:

- Chipotle – in order of their line up

Burrito Bowl. Rice. No beans.

Chicken.

Corn salsa and the hot salsa

Sour cream, cheese.

Add lettuce on top.


I know what you’re thinking…but no beans?!

No. No beans. They just make you fart anyway.

Won’t sour cream and cheese stop you up?!

You will need something to stop you up after this meal. Think of it as a cushion for when you fall.

I don’t know why (I’m thinking it’s the hot salsa) but it is my little secret and I’m sharing it with you. I call it a my bowel cleansing. Scott ate it one night and he couldn’t get himself off the toilet the next morning. He is also a little on the extreme white boy side, too. Don’t let his experience scare you.

There you go. You can thank me when you walk out of that bathroom feeling like you dropped 5 pounds for your vacation.

They really need to market this newfound cure.

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